Still, a person suffers.
- rapid swings in mood,
- easily triggered by senses,
- and several more.
Did I wound my children? Is this why my son suffered from an autoimmune disease? Honestly. I did suspect it. I have long wondered if I wore down his body during the many years of my daily "episodes" of instability.
Am I the reason my daughter has been suffering since August of last year? Did her body overload and give up? Could she have suppressed her fears, pain, and emotions so long that it weakened her body enough to stop her autonomic nervous system from working properly?
I did the absolute best every single day. I endured trauma therapy for 10 years doing intense work that was necessary for me to heal. I did everything I felt God had prescribed because I desperately wanted to "stop hurting my loved ones."
But .... I think I still hurt them. LIFE IS NOT FAIR!
BUT let me stress this: IT IS WORTH LIVING THROUGH THE HEALING PROCESS and becoming a better you. In the end, if you stay tough and keep working on healing eventually you will stop hurting them with the secondary effects of your trauma/abuse experience. Don't you dare give up! That will hurt them so much more. Keep believing and obeying God to heal you. And talk to others who have been through the process - get support.
You are not the center of the universe,
What happens to people is not your fault,
You are not responsible for the outcome of others' lives,
You can change your life - the way you live,
You can change the way you respond and interact with others,
You are accountable to God alone,
You are not to blame for other's bad decisions,
You are healing - each person must choose for themselves to heal or not heal,
You must LIVE in the moment before it passes - it is the only place you can LIVE fully!