Secondary PTSD - You Are Their Trauma

Many people today are being given the diagnosis of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome), a mental illness assessments that can not be made by a blood test, a culture from a lab, a EKG stress test or an Xray. People, with invisible wounds, are told they have a chemical imbalance; that their brain is not working correctly after they experienced horrific physical, emotional or mental attacks. But no one actually tangibly see the connection from the incidents to the result; this damage is internal - quite invisible to our methods of scientifically detecting the illness.

Still, a person suffers.

And not only does the individual suffer. The family suffers too!

Do you know someone with PTSD? Is a loved one recently received a diagnosis? 

You already know the signs of this mental illness:

• nightmare,
• hyper-vigilant
• obsessive,
• compulsive,
• depressed,
• screaming,
• anger,
• hyper-sensitivities,
• isolation,
• rapid swings in mood,
• easily triggered by senses,
• unstable,
• unsociable,
• emotional,
• detached,
• and several more.

Each person is unique, therefore their symptoms and degree of the illness varies. But what is becoming more common is the fact that spouses and children of someone suffering from PTSD are developing symptoms also.

The finding is that the wounded person suffering the PTSD becomes the trauma (T) for their loved ones and because of being exposed to repeated and frequent episodes of trauma.

When I read about this recently that Veterans family members are also beginning to show symptoms of PTSD at varying degrees, I looked at my children and didn't want to feel what was emerging within my being.

Did I wound my children? Is this why my son suffered from an autoimmune disease? Honestly. I did suspect it. I have long wondered if I wore down his body during the many years of my daily "episodes" of instability.

As I write this post, I sit on a queen size bed with a plush white comforter. I am in a hotel room connected to the Mayo Clinic hospital in MN. I can't help to question:

Am I the reason my daughter has been suffering since August of last year? Did her body overload and give up? Could she have suppressed her fears, pain, and emotions so long that it weakened her body enough to stop her autonomic nervous system from working properly?

I feel guilty. This is false guilt... this is shame for something I had no control over.

Thankfully, I know I could have not done anything differently.

I did the absolute best every single day. I endured trauma therapy for 10 years doing intense work that was necessary for me to heal. I did everything I felt God had prescribed because I desperately wanted to  "stop hurting my loved ones."

But ....  I think I still hurt them. LIFE IS NOT FAIR! 

I knew that already, but I wanted so much to not repeat the cycle of abuse; I just couldn't get "fixed" quick enough. My best was not good enough. Do you know that feeling?

Presently, I can do nothing about the past but today I can help them be as healthy as they can be. Maybe if they have children I can help them so that their own children will have a less traumatic childhood. I can give them breaks and let them have time to take care of their own body, soul and spirit.

I am finding odd as I write this post I do not feel very emotional--I feel flat, dull, automatic. Maybe I am numbing myself to not cry. Maybe I know their is nothing I can do to change the past. Maybe I need to just trust God that HE is able to heal them faster before they have a family.

If you are suffering from PTSD, be aware of the fact that you need help to give your family breaks so they don't have to be continually exposed to your trauma.

BUT let me stress this: IT IS WORTH LIVING THROUGH THE HEALING PROCESS and becoming a better you. In the end, if you stay tough and keep working on healing eventually you will stop hurting them with the secondary effects of your trauma/abuse experience. Don't you dare give up! That will hurt them so much more. Keep believing and obeying God to heal you. And talk to others who have been through the process - get support. 

I am here. I have been through it. I promise you there is a way out!

Until next post, keep moving forward!

Remember -

You are not the center of the universe,
What happens to people is not your fault,
You are not responsible for the outcome of others' lives,
You can change your life - the way you live,
You can change the way you respond and interact with others,
You are accountable to God alone,
You are not to blame for other's bad decisions,
You are healing - each person must choose for themselves to heal or not heal,
You must LIVE in the moment before it passes - it is the only place you can LIVE fully!

Take Off the Mask

You thought you knew, but you didn't.
You looked at me but you didn't see.
I wore a mask of perfection,
I played the role given to me.

And I cried all the tears never heard
And I felt so much pain-- undeserved
I lashed out to one who loved me.
Fighting within, so well-perserved.

There's One who loves without reserve,
I knew Him not, never heard a word.
And I kept pretending to be me,
Acting like nothing within stirred.

My mask covered a horrid lie,
My soul curdled, wanting to die.
I bled through the cracks he had made,
No one was told the reason why.

Hope found me dead, in such despair,
I was worn out, I didn't care.
The candle kept burning away,
A victim in silence - would I dare.

Break the plaster, heal the wounded,
Bind the broken, tend the bird slain.
Shattered bones set in as cast.
Hold on my soul, there's a higher plane.

I once bleed on behind a mask.
Now I am free- I share my pain.
Healing is hard, Survivors know.
But we will not live in the chains.

Stand for the victim whose unknown,
Sing for the child, who cannot tell.
Break the silence, shine the light
Into shadows and hidden hells.

Reach the victim, give them support.
Let them know they are not alone.
We will not stop raising our voice
Until evil abuse is dethrone!

Shout for vic'try and those just saved,
Our works not done while there's a slave
We must go on til the cycle stops.
Abuse and violence is depraved.

We have hope, we stand tall - rising,
Love is the antidote of sin.
Forgiveness sets debtors free.
God is the place, we all begin.

Hear the testimony I share,
I have risen from the cold grave,
Come into the light, feel the warmth.
Start a new path, God's all you craved.

Dance for the soul who has risen,
Shout out for joy, and clap your hand,
We celebrate each victory.
Join me - together we stand!

by Lindy Abbott

River

I rejoice to share the new words coming forth in the season of joy... poetry. This one explores river motif.

River

River runs
From the source
That's never dry.

Birds fly,
Flowers blown
Creeks bubble on.

Grounded
I must walk
Untraveled path.

Please, don't
Make me go
Alone Thru this.

Silly girl,
You're never
From my presence.

River flows
From fresh springs,
Balming past wounds.

by Lindy Abbott

Trusting - Poetry

Be silent, in His presence by day.
Seeking, knowing, living His way,

Be still, he does so naturally.
Resting, safely so trustingly.

He purrs - there is matter-of-fact,
One, Who's forever- so eternally-
Sovereign.

He accepts, without a doubt.
Child-like faith, we find so difficult.
To believe One lives within - throughout.

Easier it is to bow before a stone,
Than for us to trust in God alone.

Images carved in drifter's wood,
Tangibly beheld and understood.

But when - our hope, in it, relies.
Worshipping, pleading, "Hear my cries."

Idols are silent, stiff, unmoved.
Powerless to do what's behoved.

Will we ever face the truth?
That One God intervenes.
Witnesses tell all they've seen.
To Him they chase and boldly go,
By name and strand, details- He knows,
Even so,
He washes souls as white as snow,
Therefore,
Forever, in heart, I am betrothed!

My Heart Sings

I think I have entered a new season -

I have returned to my natural roots of poetry that pours from my soul.

It is an awakening of what has long been dormant...

Let me share a few:

Cat naps.
Rhythmic fur
Paws froze
Twitching tail.

Not -

A care
in the world
All's well
When he's curled.


So still, drifting.
Slight touch on tail -
It responds.
His dream prevails.

That we were so
Easily stirred.
By small
Touches of life.


**************

Humans - bothered,
Busy doing,
Thinking, speaking.

Reflecting times
Are needed.
But never
Are they heeded.

Another wasted day.

**************



I hope you enjoyed I have a few more. I wrote a poem of love for my husband, but I will wait until another day to share. I want him to be the first to read it on Valentine's Day.

My heart fills so full it might burst with joy. Thank you for sharing.

Dear Adam Lanza's Mother

A Hallway Photograph taken from the Book, Asylum (amazon link below)

A mom wrote a beautiful perspective on Mental Illness as a result of the CT School Massacre. She titled it, I Am Adam Lanza's Mother.


Here is my reply:

Dear Mom,

You do need help and so do all of the other people in our nation who have mental illness or family members suffering.

Once upon a time, America had beautiful places built by rich loving family members (and even churches) for those in the community who became mental ill. (Incidentally, it was at the turn of the 19th century when whole wheat was processed to remove the healthy grain and wheat germ to sell to farm animals and to give humans the pasty, waste product that was even bleached to look appealing. Americas greatest, healthiest, basic food source - real natural whole grain bread was turned into unhealthily, powder stripped of all of its nutritional value. Dr. Wise, a chemist/doctor in the early 19th century wrote about the discovery that the white wheat lacked necessary vitamins and was causing people to become mentally ill.... and then came the need for mental homes.)

These homes were simply the best - magnificent gardens and grounds, theatre, art, music, food and well taken care of residents. Matter of fact, the residence themselves did the work and needed limited caretakers. Each worked to his or her best ability and thrived in being productive and expressing themselves in the arts in a safe/protected environment. The residents had dignity!

Things continued this way for a few decades. Details can be read in a beautiful, haunting photographical historical account in the book Asylum: Inside the Closed World of State Mental Hospitals.

A photograph from the book, Asylum

Then Social Designers began to stir in the late 1920s and 1930s who look for ways to solve societies problems through government's solutions decided that these hospitals needed to be regulated and taken over by State and later Federal funding. The policymakers said it was wrong to make residents work: growing their food in gardens, cooking meals, planning entertainment events, even participating in upkeep of their joint home. They made laws to stop all of this forced labor and to let the mentally ill simply sit all day long.

Not surprisingly, the people in the homes lost a will to life; they didn't see much use in their life. They wilted and became more depressed and exhibited worse and strange behaviors.

Of course, God was soon not allowed in these government run institutions - University educated doctors and legislators knew better how to take care of people than God and His people... even better than the families - clearly Government and social movements who make their own studies to prove their own outcomes provided statistics that their methods were right and their ways were taught as the new wise, updated, latest researched policies and law of the Land. Their standards naturally were to replace God's.

By the 1970s State Institutions were so horrible, corrupt, disgraceful, dull, inhumane places for people to vegetate on chemically produced and government approved medications that people clamored to have these rotten asylums closed. Asylums - a place to rest - became a bad word and the once beautiful estates established by loving families and churches have turned into tombs of their ghastly end. They look more like horror mansions than beautiful residential homes.

And the mentally ill, now have no place to turn... they are living homeless on the streets or end up in prison or drugged to a stupor at home. Progressive society at its best in taking care of citizens according to the proper established standards of University experts and Lifelong politicians who churn out laws to keep themselves and their highly connected 'friends' wealthy by being awarded lush grants, contracts and regulatory boards/agencies. And the big wheel keeps turning,

individual humans... they are a cog in the system... a bump in the road to progress.

We can look back to when times were not like they are today and find the real answers, but that would take humbling, considering that what we have been taught and are teaching is WRONG. Few people can humble themselves. Pride always ruins everything. It is a great evil that causes heartache and sin.

The solutions are known, but few want to listen or believe.

Deliverance - How Do I Cast Evil Spirits Away?

Occasionally I get an email regarding a post, like I did a few days ago from a recent post titled Demons Cast Away. After I have given a personal answer to the writer, I sometimes feel the question could be a common one, therefore, it makes sense to provide the answer in a "follow-up" post so others can have more details. This post "Deliverance - How Do I Cast Evil Spirits Away?" is my answer to a dear sister in the Lord that wanted more help.

by Christian Artist, Stacy Lee

It is my sincere desire for these simple principles of Biblical truth will help as many people who believe God and live their life according to His Word, the Bible.

The dear Christian woman personally contacted me by email to ask for more help in deliverance.

I share my answer to her with you - my readers. 

In doing so, I am not revealing anything about her or her email to me. I sincerely hope this information will benefit many in binding the enemy, thereby, giving Christians the victory that is available because of what JESUS has DONE for us!

Thank you for writing.

I would be very glad to pray for you, but let me tell you first that children of God equally have the same power and access. God does not afford one child more attention or power or ability. The Holy Spirit in me is the same as in you and as in Peter or Paul or anyone else who is a Christian indeed! 

Sometimes we are led to believe that someone else might have better access to God-- like a pipeline directly to His throne. 

The only greater access one can have over another's access is if one has more faith in believing God is and does what He says and if one has confessed and repented of all known sin (especially lying and unforgiveness). A lack of faith and unconfessed/unrepented known sin are two things that can limit a child of God's access to God.

I say all this because you asked me to pray for you, and I am very happy to do this, but I want you to know the same power of the Holy Spirit is within you and anyone who confesses to believe Jesus is their personal Lord (Master over every area of life) and Savior. One person might have more experience in the ways of God or more knowledge through the study of His Word which can increase faith greatly, but there is only ONE God. He who is within me is the same who is within any truly born from the Spirit of God Christian.

Now let me get to the prayer that I want to encourage you to pray.

Dear Father God,

I thank you for loving me so much that you allowed Jesus to take on all of my sins when He was dying on the cross. I am so grateful that Jesus completed all that is needed to be done for me to be forgiven and receive grace (undeserved mercy--we did nothing ourself to obtain grace-- granted by God). I am Your child and I know deliverance is a wonderful blessing in life because of Jesus. I present myself before You and will intently listen for You to have time to examine my thoughts, emotions and desires to see if there is within me anything that is against You and not pleasing. 

Lord, as I pause before You, bring to my mind anything I should confess--agreeing with You that it is sinful and making a decision to turn away from (repent) that sinfulness.

(pause & listen, confess and repent)

Thank you God for showing me the areas in my life that I need grace to cover. I am so thankful that Your grace is sufficient to cover all sin - there is no sin that is too horrible for You to forgive. Jesus died to set us free from sin. I praise You for loving me so much.

Now, Lord I come before You, with the problems I have been having of being attacked by your enemies. You told us that we would have to be prepared in life on earth for warfare and I know that the Holy Spirit Who lives in me is greater than any evil spirit in the world. You, God, are the Creator and fallen angels are a simple creation. They have no ability close to Your power.

Father God, I will begin to ask in the Name of Jesus and by the Blood of Jesus for You to remove the oppression of these evil spirits. So much evil has been attached to my life through generational sin and my own personal sin, but I am standing firm in the faith of the power of the Name of Jesus and the Blood of Jesus that broke the power of Satan and his workers of evil. Jesus gave a death blow to Satan and his time is numbered - his power is only given in places that we do not bind in the name of Jesus and the blood of Jesus.Yes, there is wonder, working power in both the name and blood of Jesus. When He said on the cross, "It is Finished! " Jesus meant the power of Satan is finished and I will walk in faith believing these truths.

God, bring to my mind any demonic, evil spirits and oppressions and unknown sin that have gained a foothold in my life and the life of those in my lineage. As you bring up a word, a name, a sin, I will trust You and confess "in the Name of Jesus and the blood of Jesus" for this specific enemy to be bound and removed from the ability to oppress me.

By Christian Artist, Stacy Lee

(now listen and start confessing, do not question a word or thought that is brought to mind, agree with God by confessing as quick as it is revealed to your mind)

Father, God, I pray in the Name of Jesus and by His blood for the spirit of weakness to be removed from my life,
Father, God, I pray in the Name of Jesus and by His blood for the spirit of doubt to be removed from my life,
Father, God, I pray in the Name of Jesus and by His blood for the spirit of apathy to be removed from my life,
Father, God, I pray in the Name of Jesus and by His blood for the spirit of unbelief to be removed from my life,

(You can alternate saying:)

God I pray that you would bind and removed the oppression of the spirit of homelessness from my life by the Name of Jesus and by the Blood of Jesus,
God I pray that you would bind and removed the oppression of the spirit of poverty through debt from my life by the Name of Jesus and the Blood of Jesus,
God I pray that you would bind and removed the oppression of the spirit of instability from my life by the Name of Jesus and the Blood of Jesus,
God I pray that you would bind and removed the oppression of the spirit of insecurity from my life by the Name of Jesus and by the Blood of Jesus,
God I pray that you would bind and removed the oppression of the spirit of sleeplessness from my life by the Name of Jesus and the Blood of Jesus,
God I pray that you would bind and removed the oppression of the spirit of mental weakness from my life by the Name of Jesus and the Blood of Jesus,

(You can alternate or find your own way of asking "in the name and blood of Jesus" for the enemy to be released from your life and your lineage:)

Father, God, I pray in the Name of Jesus and by His blood for the spirit of malaise to be removed from my life,
Father, God, I pray in the Name of Jesus and by His blood for the spirit of sickness to be removed from my life,
Father, God, I pray in the Name of Jesus and by His blood for the spirit of weariness to be removed from my life,
Father, God, I pray in the Name of Jesus and by His blood for the spirit of mental fog/confusion to be removed from my life,

God I pray that you would bind and removed the oppression of the spirit of unforgiveness from my life by the Name of Jesus and by the Blood of Jesus,
God I pray that you would bind and removed the oppression of the spirit of torment from my life by the Name of Jesus and the Blood of Jesus,
God I pray that you would bind and removed the oppression of the spirit of resentment from my life by the Name of Jesus and by the Blood of Jesus,
God I pray that you would bind and removed the oppression of the spirit of fairness from my life by the Name of Jesus and the Blood of Jesus,
God I pray that you would bind and removed the oppression of the spirit of voices from my life by the Name of Jesus and by the Blood of Jesus,
God I pray that you would bind and removed the oppression of the spirit of disassociation/disconnectedness from my life by the Name of Jesus and the Blood of Jesus,

(This should give you a very good start but you would best be served in your life to listen to God as He personally tells you what needs to be confessed, sometimes it might sound outlandish, don't let that stop you - confess it - rebuke it - bind it.)

When you feel you have done, when nothing new comes to mind. Spend time praising and thanking God. And of course listen for Him to speak to you. In our relationship with God we can communicate in a two-way path. We speak and He listens; We listen and He speaks -- just like any other relationship. God can speak to us in our mind/thoughts, through His Word and by other loving caring Christians. Just remember God NEVER berates or demeans. He is a loving Father, Who shows us what we need to know because He love us and wants us to be the very best we can be.

Also I want you to know that this process is not like a "magic trick" or "hokey" - It is totally based on the Scriptures and the power Jesus won by His sinless life, righteous death, burial (during which he descended to hell to break the power of sin/death) and His Resurrection! Today He LIVES, seated in the position of righteousness at the right hand of the Father and God has DONE everything we need done to be set free.

After this process, rest in God. 

Get on track studying His Word, and be very quick to confess sin. Do it immediately and as much as you can, stop sinning. When the Holy Spirit say, "Don't do it!" learn to listen. But also know if you do sin, confess it to be wrong, repent that you are not going to do it again and in the best way possible make the situation right. This is a continual process especially when we are break bad habits. You can never ask for forgiveness to many times, but make sure you are sincere and are determined to repent (turn from the sinful way).

Being free from oppression, we allow God to be released in our life to function in and through us to help us to be who He originally created us to be. Let Him lead you on your continuing healing path. He is your Healer - He is Jehovah Rapha - The Lord Who Heals!

I pray God's blessing in your life. I have faith that God's way is the only way to truly be set free from evil that is rampant on earth. God left us to live in the world after we were saved not so that we would be tormented but so that we would be set free and be able to help others ministering from what we have learned by telling others what He has personally done in our life and will also do in their life.

I Praise God for the work He is getting ready to do! To Jesus is all the glory! Praise God!

Final Note to Readers of this post:

I pray to God that this information on deliverance will help many people be set from the Evil One and his minions - the supernatural powers of darkness!

And please if you have any question, feel comfortable to ask. God is the Expert; I am simply a fellow child of His teaching His truths and showing the way to Him.