Sexual Abuse - Can I hear the Truth about it?
I was recently praying with and helping a very sweet 20's something young lady who had been horribly sexually abused as a little child repeatedly. This precious lady is struggling so much and has resorted to bulemia and cutting herself. Three wonderful ladies have been praying with her and supporting her for about 2 years. I felt so blessed that God had our paths cross and I was able to help her identify a lot of the dissociative and PTSD symptoms for her to understand that there is hope for healing. We left our time together on a positive note and it really seemed like she was going to persue getting professional help.
A day or two after our conversation so strongly rejected God and turned to worldly releases/escapes like drinking alcohol. I understand. I know she is scared. There are times I wish I could have a few hard drinks, but I don't head that way. I know it is not what God is asking me to do so that I can fully be healed.
This is the letter I sent her after her night she turned to alcohol and vocally rejected the Christian box she felt stiffled in. It is a strong, bold letter. Unfortunately there are times in life that true love has to be tough in order to be honest. Truth always needs to be loving, edifying, and respectful. God has gifted me with a prophetic voice - this means I have an ability to speak God's truth forward, I do not have a foretelling ability, but a forth-telling gift. Not everyone is comfortable or able to speak the hard truth. Sometimes this ability doesn't always result in what feels like a blessing to me or others. No one likes a messenger of rebuke, though a few times in life that is exactly what we need. I see this responsibility to speak forth when God lays it on my heart as being a delivery mailperson...it is not my letter or message, I just deliver it. I am not rejected if a person doesn't like what they hear, the message is (and usually that means God is).
God is a gentlemen. He would never force Himself on you, like other’s have. You can walk away anytime you want. He still loves you and believe it or not He will have His arms open wide awaiting your return. I know that is hard to believe but that is our holy, loving God. You see God love unconditionally. It is called agape love. He loves you period. He loves you not for what you do, think, feel or for what you don’t do, think or act. Nothing you do or don’t do can’t change His love for you. He will not stop loving you, even if you are angry or hate Him. Loving is Whom He is. He is Love. He can’t separate it from Himself, if He did, He would not be God. He would be a sinner and a liar, which he is not.
You are totally so blessed to have all these loving ladies from the River that have been helping you all this time. I didn’t have one steady person in my corner during my beginning years of turning to God and learning to go to Him for healing. No one came to visit with me, had lunch/coffee with me, invited me to outings, offering to pay for my doctor, etc. God has been so giving and gracious to you. It is a pity that you take all this forgranted, much less the way you toss your relationship around with God. You are a priceless treasure to God.
I made it real clear. The choice is yours. You were standing in the doorway to healing and you looked through but turned, dusted the dirt off your feet and walked away. It is your great loss. Yes, you will find temporal and temporary happiness in the pleasures of the world, but you will never know peace and healing that can only come from God whom created you, gave you a purpose for living, had plans for hope in your life, died for your sins while you were a sinner, offered you to be His adopted daughter, His princess, the bride of Christ, the joint heir to His Kingdom and all the benefits that go with being His daughter. What in the world could compare to what He has given you? You simply don’t know Him personally/intimately, if you did, you would never walk away.
Canceling that Doctors appointment was your choice. Don’t you ever blame another person. You are responsible for your actions, even if you were scared to go, you cancelled it. Good luck at finding your own doctor. Quality Christian doctors are rare, especailly a doctor that can handle the level of your abuse and your bodies chemical response and neurobiological changes from the repeated abuse.
I am very matter of fact, and I don’t mince my words, I was totally clear with you that you needed help of a psychiatrist and Christian therapist. You chose not – you may feel a sense of freedom from the Christian ways for a time. Mark my words – your illness (demons, as you like to call it), your hurts, your desparate need will never go away without God’s help. You will get further entangled in your sin-web.
I deal with ladies all the time in your situation, I have for so many years. The fact is you really don’t want to be made well/whole/complete/santified. You find a warped security in being a victim, needy, emotionally/mentally ill. You know what, this is what most people choose, because getting true healing is hard work…for one you have to die to your will and accept God’s will for your life…you have to get off the throne in your heart and give Him a permanent seat to tell you what to do, to let Him totally be your Lord. You have not given Him lordship over your life. You are still making the decisions in your life, and you are choosing to follow Satan’s plan and rejecting God’s. Do you really think Satan cares about you and that he might help you? He hates you and wants you to be destroyed…he will push you in that direction slowly or quickly…he doesn’t care how long it takes. You are letting Satan win, and destroy you.
The choice remains yours – choose who you will worship, believe and follow today – Satan or God. Those are the only two choices you have. Don’t forget that Satan is not a gentlemen, he is crude, rude and evil. He will force himself on you!
I will not be involved in your situation again unless God directs me to do so. There are too many people hurting that are seeking God’s help. I don’t play games…I don’t have time to do that.
You are loved deeply. I pray you make a better choice than you did last night and today. As for me, I will serve the Lord…and God instructs me to dust off my sandals and walk away. Not to reject your friendship/relationship but to no longer cast pearls before you…to no longer speak to your about Him unless you make a choice for Him.
Truly I cared, and rejoiced over God’s work with you,
Lindy
God loves you also. Listen to see what He is saying to you.
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