Demonic Dealt With
Could it be Demonic or is it Emotional? The answer may depend on your worldview. Does your worldview include the reality of Satan and his evil angelic host casted down - one third of all heavenly angels?
Do you believe there is a one, perfect, true, all-knowing, all-powerful Existed One, God?
For about ten years I have been going to consistent counseling to be healed from the effects of horrific child abuse.
About one year ago, I realized my mind had splintered off into various alters to protect myself during extremely intense abusive times in my childhood. This is a conditional called Dissociative Identity Disorder (aka Multiple Personality Disorder).
Over the past two years, I have been in brain therapy, called Brainspotting, developed by Dr. David Grand from years of experience using EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization Reprogramming). While my therapy using EMDR began about 8 years ago I have been doing brainspotting for about 2 years.
In therapy this year we have been discovering alters (see earlier post on this blog, http://abuseandtrauma-hope.blogspot.com/2008/11/dissociation-disintegrated-sense-of.html). This has been a very emotional and time consuming part of therapy.
In the past few months, we have been gathering the alters to come together into a garden in my mind to speak to my adult self. ( I apologize if I have lost you. Please let me know by commenting and I will try to explain in more detail.) The therapy goal is to have the 10 or so alters agree to have their needs met, allow themselves to mature and grant my adult self privilege of having my being (soul). It is time for them to let me live my life as a 46 year old adult. Each alter has to understand I don't need their help and protection though I am very grateful for all they did to keep me sane and safe during my childhood.
Last week we (my therapist, myself and God) were working in a session together to bring in to the garden one of the last two alters to enter. God orchestrated a different event for this alter. He knew it was not really an alter of myself at all, it instead was a host of demonic spirits that was not really within me but that was still deeply attached to me. (Again, I can explain more deeply if you comment that you need more information on this topic.)
This is my remembrance of the brainspotting session,
I met God at the garden gate.
On our way to the cottage, we stopped by the garden swing so He could hand Jesus Lulu (my youngest alter) to hold while He was keeping Tina (the frozen young alter) secure companionship.
When we entered the cottage, Father God had me sit at the long farmhouse table close to the wood burning stone fireplace. He handed me a nice cup of java and a freshly baked scone. (We all know Java will be served continually in heaven.) He began to prepare me for what was going to take place.
He called forth Warrior Angels to fill the garden area to protect the children alters that had already found a comfortable place in the garden while they each waited for our time to come together in the cottage. These Angels began to patrol the garden to keep everyone safe.
Father God spoke to other Warrior Angels to follow Him and me to the garden gate. When we arrived, the Angels stepped forward and opened the gate. In came the condeming mother alter, which I now understood was a demon, and the Angels surround it securely within a circular perimeter.
The demon began to change faces. In the middle of fog-like mist I could see various black and white sketched faces in a dance-like float begin to emerge and fade as if they were fighting for control of who was to emerge and dominate. Father God spoke to the demons, as they spewed out hateful comments. I realized that it was not only a condemning mother spirit but a hate-filled father spirit and more I didn't readily identify.
Father God commanded them to leave, to be cast away in the name and blood of Jesus. The power of the name and blood of Jesus is a constant reminder to Satan and demons of His victory over the power of death, and them. I looked at Father God and fell to my knees before Him, praising, thanking and worshiping Him.
I did not even need to speak a word to the demonic presence. I knew I was changed. I was freed from a demonic spirit that had tried to viciously inflict harm, pain and even death on my adult self. These demons, clustered together as a condemning mother voice, had over the years beat me violently, choked me, held my head under water, talked suicide thoughts to me, degraded and belittle me, and tried to tear at any success or confidence I had as a mother. While its hold on me in the last few years had been less and less, a few times a year it raised its ugly head to torture me.
As we returned toward the cottage, Father God and I stopped by Jesus to pick up Lulu. Jesus spoke His pleasure. It was sense of knowing the work that had taken place.
In the cottage, God laid Lulu down in a playpen-like, babybed in the corner of the room, as I went to sit again at the table. Father God came over and ran His fingers through my long hair. I was very tired. With His guidance and permission, I walked over to a bedroom knowing I needed to rest, knowing what I came to do this day had been accomplished. "Well done, my good and faithful servant, well done," were the last words I heard my Father say as the session ended and I opened my eyes.
Do you believe there is a one, perfect, true, all-knowing, all-powerful Existed One, God?For about ten years I have been going to consistent counseling to be healed from the effects of horrific child abuse.
About one year ago, I realized my mind had splintered off into various alters to protect myself during extremely intense abusive times in my childhood. This is a conditional called Dissociative Identity Disorder (aka Multiple Personality Disorder).
Over the past two years, I have been in brain therapy, called Brainspotting, developed by Dr. David Grand from years of experience using EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization Reprogramming). While my therapy using EMDR began about 8 years ago I have been doing brainspotting for about 2 years.
In therapy this year we have been discovering alters (see earlier post on this blog, http://abuseandtrauma-hope.blogspot.com/2008/11/dissociation-disintegrated-sense-of.html). This has been a very emotional and time consuming part of therapy.
In the past few months, we have been gathering the alters to come together into a garden in my mind to speak to my adult self. ( I apologize if I have lost you. Please let me know by commenting and I will try to explain in more detail.) The therapy goal is to have the 10 or so alters agree to have their needs met, allow themselves to mature and grant my adult self privilege of having my being (soul). It is time for them to let me live my life as a 46 year old adult. Each alter has to understand I don't need their help and protection though I am very grateful for all they did to keep me sane and safe during my childhood.
Last week we (my therapist, myself and God) were working in a session together to bring in to the garden one of the last two alters to enter. God orchestrated a different event for this alter. He knew it was not really an alter of myself at all, it instead was a host of demonic spirits that was not really within me but that was still deeply attached to me. (Again, I can explain more deeply if you comment that you need more information on this topic.)
This is my remembrance of the brainspotting session,
I met God at the garden gate.
On our way to the cottage, we stopped by the garden swing so He could hand Jesus Lulu (my youngest alter) to hold while He was keeping Tina (the frozen young alter) secure companionship.When we entered the cottage, Father God had me sit at the long farmhouse table close to the wood burning stone fireplace. He handed me a nice cup of java and a freshly baked scone. (We all know Java will be served continually in heaven.) He began to prepare me for what was going to take place.
He called forth Warrior Angels to fill the garden area to protect the children alters that had already found a comfortable place in the garden while they each waited for our time to come together in the cottage. These Angels began to patrol the garden to keep everyone safe.
Father God spoke to other Warrior Angels to follow Him and me to the garden gate. When we arrived, the Angels stepped forward and opened the gate. In came the condeming mother alter, which I now understood was a demon, and the Angels surround it securely within a circular perimeter.
The demon began to change faces. In the middle of fog-like mist I could see various black and white sketched faces in a dance-like float begin to emerge and fade as if they were fighting for control of who was to emerge and dominate. Father God spoke to the demons, as they spewed out hateful comments. I realized that it was not only a condemning mother spirit but a hate-filled father spirit and more I didn't readily identify.
Father God commanded them to leave, to be cast away in the name and blood of Jesus. The power of the name and blood of Jesus is a constant reminder to Satan and demons of His victory over the power of death, and them. I looked at Father God and fell to my knees before Him, praising, thanking and worshiping Him.
I did not even need to speak a word to the demonic presence. I knew I was changed. I was freed from a demonic spirit that had tried to viciously inflict harm, pain and even death on my adult self. These demons, clustered together as a condemning mother voice, had over the years beat me violently, choked me, held my head under water, talked suicide thoughts to me, degraded and belittle me, and tried to tear at any success or confidence I had as a mother. While its hold on me in the last few years had been less and less, a few times a year it raised its ugly head to torture me.
As we returned toward the cottage, Father God and I stopped by Jesus to pick up Lulu. Jesus spoke His pleasure. It was sense of knowing the work that had taken place.
In the cottage, God laid Lulu down in a playpen-like, babybed in the corner of the room, as I went to sit again at the table. Father God came over and ran His fingers through my long hair. I was very tired. With His guidance and permission, I walked over to a bedroom knowing I needed to rest, knowing what I came to do this day had been accomplished. "Well done, my good and faithful servant, well done," were the last words I heard my Father say as the session ended and I opened my eyes.
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