Who You Are

"You wont understand" my daughter repeated as I sat dumbfounded at the stop sign. One left turn and five houses down I would be in our driveway. But, I couldn't seem to lift my foot off the break.

My daughter turned 12 today. On the way home from a birthday lunch with her girlfriend, she told me that I did not know who she was. I lovingly told her, "Who you are is who God created you to be and I loved you, just as He chose to make you." She again told me, "You don't understand." "Well, I may not, but I love you," is all I could think to say.

I finished the short drive to our home, and she both went in. One thing I did understand is that she is a teen, and being a teen a parent never knows what may come out of their mouth. Especially when you have an open relationship where they know they are safe to express their feelings and thoughts, when they know they are loved.

A few hours later I laid on my bed and wrote this for her:

August 5, 2009

Who You Are

You are a lovely girl
Created by Jehovah God.
He formed you in my womb
On winter day in 1996.

You rapidly grew, cell by cell, tissue by tissue, organ by organ.

You tried to be born in June
But that was too soon.
I had to lay on the sofa
For 7 weeks, letting your brothers
Run wild.

As I pushed at the end of labor,
I watched your head
Slide out into the doctor's arms.

As soon as you were
Cleaned and bundled in a blanket,
You nursed at my breast.
I looked at you amazed,
Overjoyed with the blessing of your birth.

On the second day of your life,
I carefully walked into the hospital hall.
I was on my way to the nursery.
I wanted to hold you in my arms again
And to gaze at your beauty.

My eyes caught sight
Of a white satin ribbon.
The pink words boldly said,
"It's A Girl!"

I stopped and cried.

For the first time, I understood.

Joy washed over me.


God had given me
A precious daughter.

Tears still, even as I write
Flood my eyes.

You are my one
And only daughter.
You have brought so
Much completeness to my life.

Words can never quite
Express all the love,
Tenderness, compassion
And happiness
You have given me.

I love who you are.
I would not want you
Any other way, or any other girl.

I grieve that I could
Not be the mother
You deserved -
You deserve the Best!

The only regret I have
Is that I could not
Be healed sooner.
And how I tried!

I apologize for all
The times I hurt you,
For scaring you,
For worrying you,
For causing you to cry,
For hurting your feelings,
For not being there
When you needed or wanted me.

I accept responsibility
For who I was
For what I did
Or didn't do
For who I am today.

You are and always will be -
A gift from God to me.
I thank Him for entrusting
Me to raise you for Him.
You are God's princess,
His precious child.
We love you.


And still,
I do not know
Who you are
Because you are growing up
Becoming your own person
Discovering our identity.

Who you are
Can only be known
By those you allow
to know
Who you are.

Who are you?

I love you, the you,
You allow me to know.
I love you, Forever!

Mom