Uncomfortable Being Real

Why is it so hard for people to find empathy, compassion, and support from people at church? A pastor that is loved by many, even non-Christians, recently shared his struggle with addiction he had with internet porn and how he is dealing with overcoming it and being accountable.

It is a pity that he faced emails after the service that were critical and judgmental for his vulnerable, honest, transparent testimony.

Why do people of churches often crush the people who are trying to have an authentic Christan walk with God? It is as though they want church to be a goody-two-shoes place for people who are all cleaned up on the outside regardless of what may be going on in the soul.

One church member stated, " I found it very uncomfortable and more than a bit unsettling that you feel it’s relevant and acceptable to remind the congregation of such worldly ugliness in a house of worship and safe haven. We don’t attend to be reminded of the world and it’s pitfalls. We attend to be cleansed and “not of the world”.

Why did this writer find the honest testimony uncomfortable? Could it be that he had similar struggles that he didn't want to be reminded of or deal with? Or did it bust his bubble of having a perfect, sinless pastor? It isn't like we have to be reminded to know that we are dealing with and living in sin, the Holy Spirit uses our conscious to do a pretty good job of letting us know when we are not living the way we should. And how can a person be cleansed unless the admit and repent of sin in their life. It does not just go away if we don't think about it.

What is the purpose of the church if it is not the place that people can confess and repent of sin without being labeled, rejected or ridiculed. Is not God's whole message about people being loved and accepted for who they are, not what they do or have done. Are we not taught to look on people as God does, to the inner man, instead of the outer man? Is not the real church composed of entirely bad, sinful people who want to change with God's help?

I think a great church sign would be - Help Wanted - Good People Need Not Apply!
I have a pretty horrific testimony. I have learned the hard way that the church is the least empathetic and compassionate crowd to share my testimony with.

Why? Well, the pastor did a pretty good job explaining why…” Because they will be criticized, sometimes judged, and always looked at different. ”

Through 20 years of experience of being real I get what you said “You’ll risk harsh judgments, misunderstanding, and criticism. But don’t let that stop you.” And I don’t let it stop me. I have even given my testimony in Kenya one Sunday at church and trust God to use it.

My pastor in my 20’s was physically shoved against the wall in his office by a church member for allowing me to give my testimony at a church service.

I think this hits a deeper soul problem of “the church”. Many people want church to be “a house of worship, a safe place” filled with good people who don’t sin, and have the pretense of never living in sin. The only problem with that concept is the truth of the matter is that we are all sinners, and the church of Jesus is made up of saved sinners. Yes, we are now saved but that doesn’t erase our testimony, it only strengthens it to give people great hope that they can never been too evil for God to love and accept them.

There is a lot of talk about hope, change and peace these days, but hope not placed in Jesus, Our God, is a false promise that can not be fulfilled. Our hope must be in Jesus. Only He can really bring about the change we need for peace.

It reminds me of Scripture that calls us to “please God instead of pleasing of men”. You keep being authentic. The people that fire back are just reminded of their weakness and sin, but instead of dealing with it, they reject the messenger.

I am so totally accepted and loved by Christ, I don’t care what people think of me…I only care what people think of Him. This has taken my a very long time to come to this point. There have been so many churches that rejected me, and disqualified me from ministry or serving because I still had areas that made me rough around the edges. Several times I wanted to just not go to church feeling it was not worth the pain, but I never once didn't want a relationship with God.

Anyone who views people at church through a test of being above sin, addictions, improper thoughts are not having a Jesus heart. Jesus' ministry was with the sinners and in helping them learn to know God and how to be healed and live by His grace/forgiveness. I am not excusing habitual sin. I am just being honest - we are all sinners in daily need of mercy, forgiveness and grace. If we ever get to the point that we feel we have arrived at holiness, we are in danger of examining our heart on a shallow basis....and living more by appearances and work than by walking in faith.

I love what Pete Wilson (http://withoutwax.tv/), a wonderful pastor in Nashville had to say on this topic, "If you want to live authentically you’re going to have to take a chance. You’ll risk harsh judgments, misunderstanding, and criticism. But don’t let that stop you. Go first. Be real. And don’t apologize for it."