To The One Who Heals My Soul
Lounging on a chair, peering through close knit screen porch window, I see the billowing whitecaps push toward the sugar white sand beach and I am in awe. How can I not think of my Creator, my God! Yet, in light of the joys of eternity that await me I am heavy hearted, anchored down by the burdens of this passing life. Each day rolls in just like the crashing waves, pushing me into what may come. I feebly stand trying to stay upright as one incident after another attempts to push me down.
It has been this way as long as I can remember, since I was young. I was not created for a carefree existence but one of resistance. And I recall that resistance against the forces is what makes one strong. A tree never learns to withstand the hurricane winds unless it has been continually prepared to take the beating and a sailor never learns to steady a ship in a storm unless he has the experience of guiding his craft through the rough seas. God has always prepared me for the hardest of times from the beginning, the abuse of my childhood.
I am a heavy, not a carefree, lightweight in life. I have been forged through many fiery trials to withstand the hellacious challenges, to walk through the furnace yet to not be scorched, to enter the arena of the lions yet not to be ripped apart limb by limb. While I have no way to foresee what God so easily does, I have solid faith in Him who has full vision.
I have learned to cling, grab onto him tightly and to never let go, but I know the truth of life is that HE is holding me. Still I press in close to listen, to see more clearly, to sense life through HIM and not through my senses alone.
Leaning back, I listen.
Above the rumbling roar of the tidal waves I can clearly hear and know the voice of my Father--the one who made me and knows me inside and out. I rest for one last morning sensing within my bones to the core of my marrow that I am being prepared. For what I do not know. Still I yield to his training of my soul, preparing ever to do HIS work, His will. It is my sole heart’s desire--He is my whole heart’s desire. To know HIM and to be Known--a relationship and love that satisfies and fulfills every yearning, every need--that heals every wounding hurt.
In the early morning darkness I cannot see the horizon--yet I know it is there. I have faith, not an inkling of a doubt--that is the strength of my faith in God.
So many abused and ravaged people, tormented by the evil of mankind and Satan--the evil one that delights to destroy our soul and to see families ripped apart limb by limb, bone by bone, joint by joint. He wants to stop God, to cause our human pain to be so great that we don’t look beyond our own misery to KNOW we are simply passing through our time on earth, this short journey set before eternity. I rested in my soul knowing no sorry here can compare to the glory of being with God for eternity. God knows the numbers of the hairs on my head; He thinks about me as many thoughts as the grains of sand upon the beaches; He not only numbers the stars but knows them by name. And with the depth and enormous amount of all of these, HE know me personally. He calls out my name. He meets with me and hears me and longs to walk everyday with me hand and hand down the beach of life.
I am blessed. And know I am to be a blessing to others. To every human that God causes to cross my path. Like a bright star shining in the light, piercing the dark pre-dawn sky, I am to help others to look up, to look to Him, to know He alone is the Healer and lover of their soul. The One to fill every empty crevice and to make their bitter waters sweet.
He has taught me like Habakkuk that regardless of what this life has done to my soul or may continue to do,
And now, it is time. The sun is rising in the east. I can see. The peachy pinks reflect upon the blues and whites in the morning sky. And my soul jumps for joy, like I alone can see God crafting a painting upon the horizon just for me. I must enjoy the moment, allow it to quench the thirst of my hungry, dry soul that aches for more of Him, and less of me. I delight that I am awake, alive in my spirit because He called and I answered. I received the greatest gift in life on earth--to live my life with Jesus, to never be alone. Oh, how marvelous, how great, how thankful!
I delight in the lover of my soul and HE delights and me. And in this priceless moment all is well. He is more than enough. He is everything. I rejoice in the Lord, the God of my salvation.
It has been this way as long as I can remember, since I was young. I was not created for a carefree existence but one of resistance. And I recall that resistance against the forces is what makes one strong. A tree never learns to withstand the hurricane winds unless it has been continually prepared to take the beating and a sailor never learns to steady a ship in a storm unless he has the experience of guiding his craft through the rough seas. God has always prepared me for the hardest of times from the beginning, the abuse of my childhood.
I am a heavy, not a carefree, lightweight in life. I have been forged through many fiery trials to withstand the hellacious challenges, to walk through the furnace yet to not be scorched, to enter the arena of the lions yet not to be ripped apart limb by limb. While I have no way to foresee what God so easily does, I have solid faith in Him who has full vision.
I have learned to cling, grab onto him tightly and to never let go, but I know the truth of life is that HE is holding me. Still I press in close to listen, to see more clearly, to sense life through HIM and not through my senses alone.
Leaning back, I listen.
“But the LORD is in His holy temple. Let all the earth be silent before Him.” (Habakkuk 2:20)
Above the rumbling roar of the tidal waves I can clearly hear and know the voice of my Father--the one who made me and knows me inside and out. I rest for one last morning sensing within my bones to the core of my marrow that I am being prepared. For what I do not know. Still I yield to his training of my soul, preparing ever to do HIS work, His will. It is my sole heart’s desire--He is my whole heart’s desire. To know HIM and to be Known--a relationship and love that satisfies and fulfills every yearning, every need--that heals every wounding hurt.
In the early morning darkness I cannot see the horizon--yet I know it is there. I have faith, not an inkling of a doubt--that is the strength of my faith in God.
So many abused and ravaged people, tormented by the evil of mankind and Satan--the evil one that delights to destroy our soul and to see families ripped apart limb by limb, bone by bone, joint by joint. He wants to stop God, to cause our human pain to be so great that we don’t look beyond our own misery to KNOW we are simply passing through our time on earth, this short journey set before eternity. I rested in my soul knowing no sorry here can compare to the glory of being with God for eternity. God knows the numbers of the hairs on my head; He thinks about me as many thoughts as the grains of sand upon the beaches; He not only numbers the stars but knows them by name. And with the depth and enormous amount of all of these, HE know me personally. He calls out my name. He meets with me and hears me and longs to walk everyday with me hand and hand down the beach of life.
I am blessed. And know I am to be a blessing to others. To every human that God causes to cross my path. Like a bright star shining in the light, piercing the dark pre-dawn sky, I am to help others to look up, to look to Him, to know He alone is the Healer and lover of their soul. The One to fill every empty crevice and to make their bitter waters sweet.
He has taught me like Habakkuk that regardless of what this life has done to my soul or may continue to do,
"Yet I will exult in the LORD,
I will rejoice in the God of my salvation.The Lord GOD is my strength,
And He has made my feet like hinds’ feet,
And makes me walk on my high places. (Habakkuk 3:18-19)"
And now, it is time. The sun is rising in the east. I can see. The peachy pinks reflect upon the blues and whites in the morning sky. And my soul jumps for joy, like I alone can see God crafting a painting upon the horizon just for me. I must enjoy the moment, allow it to quench the thirst of my hungry, dry soul that aches for more of Him, and less of me. I delight that I am awake, alive in my spirit because He called and I answered. I received the greatest gift in life on earth--to live my life with Jesus, to never be alone. Oh, how marvelous, how great, how thankful!
I delight in the lover of my soul and HE delights and me. And in this priceless moment all is well. He is more than enough. He is everything. I rejoice in the Lord, the God of my salvation.
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Jill