Vivid Dreaming Again
I had another vivid dream last night.
Through imagery I have a glimpse of hell.
It is a place you are -- a place you exist -- you want to leave, you want to die, but regardless -- even if you kill yourself your just end up back there again.
___________
This is not what was in my dream but the impression I had after I awoke:
My precious mother livid in hell on earth but she never tried to kill herself. She did try to did try to leave but always ended back in hell, so she resigned herself to stay “permanently” for her time while on earth hoping to outlive the one who was her hell master. He outlived her. My mother is no longer in hell.
_____________
Also:
I was able to visit my kindred spirit friend on earth who lives in English. I love her dearly. I am not sure she knows how much. In many ways I am jealous of her. She would think I was quite odd to be jealous of her because she might gladly trade positions in life. She has great favor among many and is highly wanted. Many see her value in kingdom work for God. However, circumstances --bureaucratic red tape -- is keeping her from her dream life. Of course, God is in control. He is working. He has his reasons for delaying her work in the ministry in America. His timing is perfect. And He keeps her place open in ministry to serve. It will always be open for her. She is chosen for earthly ministry in kingdom work that is directly in the church.
My heart missed my friend so much but we seem to pass only in odd places. While she loves me, she has so many who love her and need her. My greatest time to be with her will be in dreams and eternity. Our paths on life will not cross that much.
____________
My impression upon awaking:
Is this not they way life is? We ache after relationships that we can’t develop but the ONE that is longing to continually develop a relationship with us, we brush HIS advances aside because HE will always be there. He is there 24/7 available and waiting. He is frequently talking to us, but we are not frequently listening.
If only we longed to be with Him the way He longs to be with us. He is the greatest friend we could ever have because he loves us so deeply that there is absolutely nothing we can do to make him love us more or less. And most importantly He KNOWS us for who we really are and still wants and loves us.
I am so blessed to know Him and to be LOVED by HIM. It is, of course, the greatest gift for life and the purpose for living. I long to continue to learn how to live for God, to live missionally.
(photo credit: last words by gothicrose, worm hole 2 by muhkenzE, anatomy for the lost by 11amsoul all on deviantart).
Through imagery I have a glimpse of hell.
It is a place you are -- a place you exist -- you want to leave, you want to die, but regardless -- even if you kill yourself your just end up back there again.
___________
This is not what was in my dream but the impression I had after I awoke:
My precious mother livid in hell on earth but she never tried to kill herself. She did try to did try to leave but always ended back in hell, so she resigned herself to stay “permanently” for her time while on earth hoping to outlive the one who was her hell master. He outlived her. My mother is no longer in hell.
_____________
Also:
I was able to visit my kindred spirit friend on earth who lives in English. I love her dearly. I am not sure she knows how much. In many ways I am jealous of her. She would think I was quite odd to be jealous of her because she might gladly trade positions in life. She has great favor among many and is highly wanted. Many see her value in kingdom work for God. However, circumstances --bureaucratic red tape -- is keeping her from her dream life. Of course, God is in control. He is working. He has his reasons for delaying her work in the ministry in America. His timing is perfect. And He keeps her place open in ministry to serve. It will always be open for her. She is chosen for earthly ministry in kingdom work that is directly in the church.
My heart missed my friend so much but we seem to pass only in odd places. While she loves me, she has so many who love her and need her. My greatest time to be with her will be in dreams and eternity. Our paths on life will not cross that much.
____________
My impression upon awaking:
Is this not they way life is? We ache after relationships that we can’t develop but the ONE that is longing to continually develop a relationship with us, we brush HIS advances aside because HE will always be there. He is there 24/7 available and waiting. He is frequently talking to us, but we are not frequently listening.
If only we longed to be with Him the way He longs to be with us. He is the greatest friend we could ever have because he loves us so deeply that there is absolutely nothing we can do to make him love us more or less. And most importantly He KNOWS us for who we really are and still wants and loves us.
I am so blessed to know Him and to be LOVED by HIM. It is, of course, the greatest gift for life and the purpose for living. I long to continue to learn how to live for God, to live missionally.
(photo credit: last words by gothicrose, worm hole 2 by muhkenzE, anatomy for the lost by 11amsoul all on deviantart).
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