40 Year Ago Contact From the Past

 
In the world of tech, and social media... 

how do we know people are who they claim to be behind an avatar or little picture? 

How do we know we are not being tricked or manipulated or taken advantage of? 

If a person remains hidden, unwilling to show his true identity is he safe? Worthy of trust?

Is this real? If a person is who he says he is, he should have no reason to not facetime.

Why would a person spend so much time saying they are a person from your past? 

How could a person know intimate details of your child abuse? 

Why would a person hide his identity behind a pseudo-one and tell you he was the person who helped your family escape from the abuse 40 years ago?

FAKE

We DM'd for about a week. 

He initially told me he had his own contact with MY abuser. He said he wanted to share it with me. He told me he had been praying for me and my siblings for 40 years plagued with empathy. 

Is this what a person "plagued with empathy for 40 years" does?

He stated how much joy I gave him. 

In all different ways, he told me what a special person I was. Building me up. Making me feel like someone actually SAW me as a real person. NO ONE really SEES me. 

I believed he was this person from my childhood that helped me and my family. 

But when he gave me specific details about his own life: names, and incidents from his childhood, (like a decapitated murder in CA of his stepmom), I could not verify it. Not many people in the USA or the world were decapitated in 1950-1960s. I could not verify specific names in his childhood he shared. It made me have concerns. Red flags. 

Is this person real? How did they know things that I can see in my mind's eye if they were not actually there?

But when I finally asked to facetime, so that I could see him in person, and speak to him. I was blocked. 

He even shared a picture of a bunny, Mr. Sprinkles, (I found later after blocked, Mr. Sprinkles' identical picture he shared with me was from an Asian language account). He said it was his bunny that woke him each morning with licks and bunny kisses. This account of the bunnyroom he pretended was his bunny that he dearly loved. I believed him. Why go through these detailed elaborate steps? Who has time for this fake crap?

ANGER

Why would a person do this to someone who has already been through so much harm in their life?

Did they think I was a vulnerable target? What was his endgame? What was his plan? motivation? 

I rarely get angry, but I am angry.

I am angry a person would engage me in conversation with dm'ing me on my Twitter account, that I have had for so long, and then I find out within a week he/she/it lied! What horrible human would do this?!??!

What is wrong with some people? Why play games? Why find targets? Why pretend you sincerely care and have prayed for another? God has a special place for people who trick and anger his own children. God does not take this casually. He says it would be better that a millstone be hung around your neck and you be tossed into the water than you bring anger to and cause one of his children to stumble. 

God is merciful, loving, forgiving, but oh so HOLY! God says vengeance is mine, dear one. Leave this trickster to me. Let that anger go. Release him and what he has done to me. 


MANIPULATION

When I told him (this person who connected with me),  I was going to hold back and wait for him to share more details of his own life, he pleaded with me that he was not like most other people in my life. He said how special I was and that he had waited 40 years plagued with empathy to contact me. 

And that time was of the essence. He kept repeating - time is of the essence.

He said he shared my faith in Jesus and Christianity. I guess another way for me to bring my guard down. Who thinks like this? Who can craft a skill of deceit so finely? Of course, the evil one has enough experience. 

I cried a lot over the past week. I was emotionally pulled. The real person in my childhood had a special connection with me, one of the very few positive connections in my childhood. I had a special place in my heart for the real person. So many things that gave me comfort and joy were connected to the time period I knew the real person. It was a separation from the abuse and my first real taste of freedom. Why would he taint these cherished memories, for me, a person who had so few non-abusive memories? 

I still can't understand why a person would do this to a person. What kind of life does he have that they have time to do something like this? What was his real motive? What did he hope to gain?

Was it worth it? Emotional manipulation of someone that had already had so much abuse and darkness and deceit. Mind games with a survivor of child abuse. How low does a person have to go?

BLOCKED

When I decided to end the mystery and deal with this in the light of the present through video chat I got blocked. I guess the light was too revealing? 

I have compassion for people. I struggle with boundaries and trust. I let very few people in. Why could they not be totally out in the open and real? Why did they have to make me again doubt people, humanity, and relationships, even more?

Too many questions, and not enough answers. 

Oh God, use this for good and not destruction.