One Little Pill - One Little Damn Pill

 One Little Pill.

How can it do so much? 

My head is spinning. No, it is my world. 

Nothing is simple. 

If one thing goes wrong, it rolls along gathering more like a tumbleweed pushed by the wind in a dry, deserted land.

One little pill. Not there at the bottom of the bottle. 

I miscalculated the days. 

I thought I had time. 

I was busy with life. 

I forgot. No, I put it off.


I went to bed like everyone else last night.

But I am not like everyone else. 

I need that damn pill.

Without it, my world twirls inside my head and I never get into a deep sleep.

I toss and turn and literally, I do feel insane. 

My dream-like thoughts come from a fun house that is not at all funny. 

They come from warp-speed fracked brain-generated shapes and images. 


It is like a took what I imagine being on acid or having one of those psychedelic mushrooms. 

And I just wanted to sleep. I wasn't micro-experimenting drugs. 

I don't have to have illegal drugs. I can just miss my legally prescribed pharma drug and get the trip of the night. 

Does that seem healthy? Does that seem healing? What the F are these doctors and big pharma companies pumping into my body? I want off but I have not been able to get through the withdrawals. 

And no one will know. 



I will go out into the world and pretend I am normal... I am okay, with most. Until like a drug addict I stagger to the drug dealer and get a pill. 

Is this the way to live life? What if the company goes out of business, if the manufacturer stops making, or if the world is crashing? I am controlled. I am easy prey. 

God, you are my Father. You are everything. Get me safely through the next few hours until I can bite off a little piece of that damn pill to let my body regulate. And maybe just maybe can you help me another day figure out how to get free from this crap? 

One little damn pill.

One little damn pill does not deserve or have the right to have control over me or my mind. I want to be set free. 

I pray, in Jesus' name and by his blood. 

Now, Father God, help me stagger like a drunk and get dressed and pretend-function until I can my pharma fix.

Put your guardian angels around me so that I am not hurting myself and anyone else until I am me again.