Knowing the Love of Being Held

Ever rest your head on your mother or grandmother's chest and have her hold you snugly and she strokes your hair letting you know everything will be alright. This experience is the love of El Shaddi.

Amy Grant made that word popular in her Song "El Shaddi" in the 90's. It was a beautiful song of love to God. El Shaddi is one of the many names of God... it literally means the 'breasted one'. That can kind of seem odd for a name of God... it seems pretty feminine to talk of resting in the comfort of ones breast, but a man can just as lovingly hold a love one snugly, up close to the chest, gently stroke the hair and reassure in tender words - "you are safe".

Just tonight I received such a blessing. I watched a wonderful movie - I am David. I highly recommend it to anyone. It will be one of those life movies, classics, all-time favorites.

I felt the movie deeply, and could not stop crying at the end. Barely speaking I asked a child checking in their sobbing mom to go get daddy.

Trembling, weeping, I motioned him to sit on the bed and I rested my head snugly on his chest and held on to his shirt for dear life. I sobbed and sobbed, releasing all the emotions of identifying with a character in a movie.

"In understand David....I am David...but in the end...Da Da Dav David got his mommmmmmmm." Tears streamed, "I never, ne..nev..never, had a mommmm," deeply knowing grief and such complete emptiness, crying out for a mom, a grandmom, an aunt, an older lady friend... that could hold me tenderly and let me know I was safe.... 'It' (my search, my journey, my struggle) was over. I was now in the arms of the one who loved me more than life itself.

After the sobbing stopped, I looked into the tender, loving eyes of my beloved husband of almost 25 years. He said, "I am at the end of the runway for you. I know now, this is my purpose of my life from God. I haven't always understood. All the other stuff I have been searching, doing, longing for is not my purpose. My purpose is to be here for you, to give you a safe place, to take care of you." I don't think I ever saw the same light brown color in my dear husband's eyes that I saw in them tonight. His eyes spoke caringly, knowingly and had a light gold tint...softening his features. He is learning to be a strong but gentle man.... a man with a meek spirit. Meekness is not at all weakness, but it is strength under the total control of God's spirit. A meek man is a strong, compassionate, capable, solid rock type of a guy. My dear husband is growing in meekness.

I am blessed beyond measure! Jehovah-jireh, The Lord Provides, has not left me without a snugly, loving, firmly-hold-me-close comforter. He knows. He provides for all my needs, and at perfect timing.

He has been preparing my husband and me to be able to come to that perfect moment that happen tonight. These times don't happen by luck or chance. No, they are planned exactly in every detail to enfold when the hearts of two souls have grown and journeyed to the precise place. Does one need any more proof that there is an all-loving, all-knowing, all-powerful, living God? I don't!

I asked God, before my husband came down, as I sobbed, who is this...speaking about in me - which self has this need. An amazing answer: Everyone! This is the common thread between each disintegrated sense of self. They all have a hole deep in their heart to be loved by El Shaddi - the comforter - the breasted-one.

Have you ever been so fortunate to see a baby drinking from its mothers breast? What complete beauty, satisfaction, love! Skin to skin receiving nutrition, but more, being held closely, pulled close in....ever see a nursing child finish but still latch on and move his little hand about, touching the skin of the breast, totally at peace, experiencing a deep connection of comfort and love.

In the same way a baby knows when she is being held in loving strong arms of a dad that adores her. She makes the connection in the eye contact and in the secure touch sensations of being held firm, and close. A baby needs this love... so do all people.

Love (not ooey,gooey mush... but solid, constant, unconditional love) is a basic need of every person... to be safe, to be held snugly, to be comforted, to know you are absolutely loved. Oh, thank you God, for giving me that experience tonight. I needed it and like always you provided everything I have ever needed. Thank you for loving me so much!

Always be open to opportunities in life where you may be the arms of El Shaddi for a hurting soul that needs to experientially know that they are safe, understood, protected, and deeply loved. Don't miss your blessing of loving the people in your life.

Relationships and love... it is why we are alive... and it is what we will be remembered by when we move on to eternal life. When it is all said and done, it is all that matters!