Coming Together in A Safe Place - Alters Working Together
This is our plan but truly does anyone know how to plan when they trek into uncharted territory. Did Lewis and Clark know what path to take or how to deal with a Grisly when they had only seen a brown bear? Explorers have to walk by faith, which is easier when you have a relationship with the One you have faith in.
In my second week of therapy, extended in time for the purpose of helping all my alters, DID personalities, come together, I keep the faith. I meet my counselor for the purpose of finding needs for all alters, and the hope to finally making an agreement between them to allow me to live my life. At least this is what I have been told may happen in the process. Me, being my core self - Lindy, my 46 year old adult self wants to finish therapy one day.
Seven years is longer than any therapy deserves. I know, the end is not the lesson but the journey is what I need to cherish, but I am too real to pretend this is comforting all the time. How long must I keep walking this road by faith? When will it ever end?
I want to be able to make decisions and function full-time without being controlled by an alter. So, in therapy, we are going to let the alters know that they will all be taken care of and every need addressed but that it would be best for everyone, and especially Lindy, my adult self, if they would wait until therapy time. (haaa haaa haaa, what a joke, like the alters might just listen...it is like trying to control a preschool class by offering them anything they want in an ice cream parlor before they go to bed. good luck!)
This therapy process is to be a very careful process and something you may not fully comprehend or understand. Don't worry, most doctors don't understand it either. That should give you a light-hearted deep breathe .... you are not alone. I have found it very helpful to pray before a session asking God to have His way. It helps me to trust someone great than me is in control of my healing.
If you have been though abuse and trauma, and struggle with hearing voices or changing personalities or various stages of maturity, you may have Dissociative Identity Disorder, or at least some type of dissociative disorder. Not all people who have been through abuse and trauma develop this disorder, a mental illness that evolves to help a child cope with severe repeated abuse especially in tender developmental years of early childhood.
So, let me explain a little about what has been taking place. I share to let people know that this type of therapy is available and also for others to be able to identify or understand so they don't feel so isolated. You are not the only one struggling with these problems, and there is great help for healing for child abuse survivors! Even though I am crushed on days when I least expect it.
I worked with my wonderful counselor last week on setting up the secret safe place for everyone to feel safe to enter the same time and space for a meeting. God led me. I didn't need to come up with something on my own or take a suggestion from my counselor. I simply put on the biolateral CD music headset and watched the place develop.
If you have been following me in my therapy and my healing at all you would know that it would, of course, be a garden place. What I delight about this space is that God led me around showing me everything that was there....and His creativity is endless and perfect.
From a creek with sitting stones, to a rose vine climbing an arch above a bench swing, to butterflies and birds fluttering around, to a cottage front porch with rustic wood rockers and to bubbles and a sandbox...He thinks of everything!
Here in this garden is a special safe place for all of my alters to hopefully find healing...and I will enjoy seeing where each go to feel comfortable.
As this session came to a close, Father God placed a ring on my finger. It was a gold color, more a yellow stone similar to a yellow diamond. I wondered why...why He has never done anything like this before. Father God told me the ring has special ability...He tells me to touch it any time I need Him. It will be a reminder that He is with me and that I am deeply loved.
Coming together in therapy is not going to be easy, but God is laying the ground work to give me all that I will need...
Of course, He is what I need.
In my second week of therapy, extended in time for the purpose of helping all my alters, DID personalities, come together, I keep the faith. I meet my counselor for the purpose of finding needs for all alters, and the hope to finally making an agreement between them to allow me to live my life. At least this is what I have been told may happen in the process. Me, being my core self - Lindy, my 46 year old adult self wants to finish therapy one day.
Seven years is longer than any therapy deserves. I know, the end is not the lesson but the journey is what I need to cherish, but I am too real to pretend this is comforting all the time. How long must I keep walking this road by faith? When will it ever end?
I want to be able to make decisions and function full-time without being controlled by an alter. So, in therapy, we are going to let the alters know that they will all be taken care of and every need addressed but that it would be best for everyone, and especially Lindy, my adult self, if they would wait until therapy time. (haaa haaa haaa, what a joke, like the alters might just listen...it is like trying to control a preschool class by offering them anything they want in an ice cream parlor before they go to bed. good luck!)
This therapy process is to be a very careful process and something you may not fully comprehend or understand. Don't worry, most doctors don't understand it either. That should give you a light-hearted deep breathe .... you are not alone. I have found it very helpful to pray before a session asking God to have His way. It helps me to trust someone great than me is in control of my healing.
If you have been though abuse and trauma, and struggle with hearing voices or changing personalities or various stages of maturity, you may have Dissociative Identity Disorder, or at least some type of dissociative disorder. Not all people who have been through abuse and trauma develop this disorder, a mental illness that evolves to help a child cope with severe repeated abuse especially in tender developmental years of early childhood.
So, let me explain a little about what has been taking place. I share to let people know that this type of therapy is available and also for others to be able to identify or understand so they don't feel so isolated. You are not the only one struggling with these problems, and there is great help for healing for child abuse survivors! Even though I am crushed on days when I least expect it.
I worked with my wonderful counselor last week on setting up the secret safe place for everyone to feel safe to enter the same time and space for a meeting. God led me. I didn't need to come up with something on my own or take a suggestion from my counselor. I simply put on the biolateral CD music headset and watched the place develop.
If you have been following me in my therapy and my healing at all you would know that it would, of course, be a garden place. What I delight about this space is that God led me around showing me everything that was there....and His creativity is endless and perfect.
From a creek with sitting stones, to a rose vine climbing an arch above a bench swing, to butterflies and birds fluttering around, to a cottage front porch with rustic wood rockers and to bubbles and a sandbox...He thinks of everything!
Here in this garden is a special safe place for all of my alters to hopefully find healing...and I will enjoy seeing where each go to feel comfortable.
As this session came to a close, Father God placed a ring on my finger. It was a gold color, more a yellow stone similar to a yellow diamond. I wondered why...why He has never done anything like this before. Father God told me the ring has special ability...He tells me to touch it any time I need Him. It will be a reminder that He is with me and that I am deeply loved.
Coming together in therapy is not going to be easy, but God is laying the ground work to give me all that I will need...
Of course, He is what I need.
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