The Midnight Hour
January 1, 2010
I don't know about you, but I stayed up until about 11 pm.
Nothing in my being wanted to be there when the ball dropped on TV. Really everything in me didn't want to be there when the New Year rolled in at Midnight.
I am very grateful for my husband that stayed up until after midnight with our teen boys. At midnight they ate oven baked chocolate chip cookies and sparkling red grape juice. I wish I could be part of such a celebration, but for some reason, still unknown to me, I shrink back at a new year's celebration.
We did go to an early dinner at 5 with a dear couples and had lots of fun. I got to dress up and feel lovely, like an adult instead of a mom. We were home by 7. We both have teens and wanted to go home to them.
This year I have been able to do a little holiday trauma therapy. So much was uncovered from just Thanksgiving and Christmas, I don't think I can handle opening up New Year's Eve "secrets" still held in my subconscious effecting my behavior but protecting my present functional sanity.
I am learning to pace myself. When I first started trauma therapy I jumped in deep, trying to uncover all that I could. Pain and suffering made me want to go deeper to discover the cause and root it out. Now I deal with these "uncomfortable" or "unusual" barriers much differently.
I take my precious time, making sure I don't overload my present life, with trauma of the past. I want to be present with my husband, children and friends. It really keeps me able to be involved and to enjoy my blessings, such as:
Blessing to you this new year. Feel free to share what you did for New Year's Eve and how you are pacing your therapy or anything else on your heart.
I don't know about you, but I stayed up until about 11 pm.
Nothing in my being wanted to be there when the ball dropped on TV. Really everything in me didn't want to be there when the New Year rolled in at Midnight.I am very grateful for my husband that stayed up until after midnight with our teen boys. At midnight they ate oven baked chocolate chip cookies and sparkling red grape juice. I wish I could be part of such a celebration, but for some reason, still unknown to me, I shrink back at a new year's celebration.
We did go to an early dinner at 5 with a dear couples and had lots of fun. I got to dress up and feel lovely, like an adult instead of a mom. We were home by 7. We both have teens and wanted to go home to them.
This year I have been able to do a little holiday trauma therapy. So much was uncovered from just Thanksgiving and Christmas, I don't think I can handle opening up New Year's Eve "secrets" still held in my subconscious effecting my behavior but protecting my present functional sanity.
I am learning to pace myself. When I first started trauma therapy I jumped in deep, trying to uncover all that I could. Pain and suffering made me want to go deeper to discover the cause and root it out. Now I deal with these "uncomfortable" or "unusual" barriers much differently.
I take my precious time, making sure I don't overload my present life, with trauma of the past. I want to be present with my husband, children and friends. It really keeps me able to be involved and to enjoy my blessings, such as:
- A supportive husband who is learning to be more involved, when I am less
- 3 teenage children who are growing up quickly and a joy to spend time with
- Friends that want to be with me, to share, to listen, to grow, to laugh
- Co-workers in pursuit of ministering through writing and speaking
- Love opportunities, like opening our door to a wayward teen with no place to sleep for the night.
Blessing to you this new year. Feel free to share what you did for New Year's Eve and how you are pacing your therapy or anything else on your heart.
Comments
I cannot explain my disassociation with the event other than it is simply meaningless to me that another day has passed and now people start again on their futile resolutions.
Each day should be cherished and each day presents opportunities to shine, to recount your blessings, to renew your energy and to appreciate change.
Change is constant not an hourglass than needs to be reset on the mantle every 365 days when some over zealous reporter tells me that my time is now up.
Value all moments. Keep to the simply, live in the present.
Love all things.
~RACHEL