Halleluiah! No More Therapy!
"MOVE THAT BUS! Move that Bus!" Don't you love hearing the family and neighbor's on the TV show Extreme Make-Over shouting, "Move that bus!"? Wouldn't you love to be shouting that yourself? The excitement. The nervousness. The longings of hopeful expectations are about to be seen, known, and fully experienced by all of your senses.
The glee! The joy! The tears! I love it all. And even though the beautiful new house filled with all that incredibly wonderful stuff is not mine, I still enjoy room by room seeing the end results of the show.
But what if you could have a new life?
Rarely in life will someone experience something like The Extreme Makeover happening personally to them. It is a show that will reach a few. Out of 300 million people, a handful will get picked. It is less than a one in a million chance.
What if I told you, the odds in life are much more in your favor. I am not talking about the TV show Extreme Makeover; I am talking about something much more personal, and so much more important. You don't have to wait to be the lucky one to get selected. You get to choose for yourself whether you want a new life. Every single person has a choice (and yes, that includes you no matter what). No one is excluded.
When I was in my twenties, I was so messed up. I was broken - more like shattered internally. I was emotionally unstable, but mentally and physically I was strong. I was a survivor!, and therefore I was determined not to make the mistakes others made to hurt me. I was NOT going to abuse my children!
Little did I know how hard it would be to keep that promise I made to myself. And I would have never kept it by myself. If I didn't come to know that Jesus is God, and He is real, not some imaginary figure, some man-made legend. God moved in my seeking heart to clearly show me that Jesus WAS God. Growing up I heard he was born a baby in the manger. I also knew about some pretty amazing things he did as an adult, and some really wise teachings He spoke. But what I didn't know is He didn't remain a man. He died as a man physically and was raised from the dead in the total fullness of being God Himself manifested on earth. Jesus the man, was also God.
I know that is a lot to understand. Frankly, I didn't understand all about Jesus when I decided with everything in my heart to follow Him and to allow Him to be Lord God of my life. I just knew I had to do it. When the Holy Spirit showed me that Jesus was God, when I heard those words within my soul, that instant, I chose Him - and never turned back. From that day forward I have NEVER been alone, NEVER! And day by day, inch by inch, year by year, God has taught me how to follow Him. He taught me who He is, and how differently He wanted me to live. Best of all, He gave me the ability to live a new life and to be a new person. He re-purposed me!
And as I grew, mostly by attending Bible teaching churches, I began a complete renovation of who I was. Every time I stumbled into a fear, a trauma trigger, a disassociated thought, He showed me what to do. I had to learn to listen to His voice, and to obey Him no matter what. When I chose Him as my Lord, I meant it. I wanted Him to take control of my life. And why not? I was an unholy mess. Anger, fear, obsession, doubt and torment bled through the moments of my day. A lot of times I was completely out of my control. I was tossed around like an unloved ragdoll, drug through garbage, left in sewers, and shoved off the jagged edges in life. I was more than once left to die ... rot for all anyone cared.
But I am here testifying to the truth, God lifted me up, cleansed me, clothed me, fed me, held me, loved me and led me one step at a time to find the purpose of my life.
Thirty years later from the time I chose Jesus I can proclaim, "I have peace in deep within the core of my being knowing the old season - the time of intense healing from the damage done to my soul by the abuse and trauma - has come to a close." I can never say I will never need intense healing again, but I can say,"For the present moving forward, my seven long years of weekly EMDR/Brainspotting therapy for a mental dissociative disorder (a year or so bi-weekly) is FINISHED!"
Halleluiah, Praise the Lord! I know if you don't know God that sounds real churchy, but honestly I don't mean it that way. I am just so very thankful He faithfully helped me to heal. Is it any wonder how marveled I am by His love for me!
People usually celebrate and praise God when they get a miraculous instant healing, but most people don't get healed that way. While God could heal everyone immediately, He frequently chooses to let us walk through our healing with His loving direction. God taught me so much, but one of the greatest lessons I have learned the past thirty years is that I needed God, more than I needed healing.
Even though my healing took many years, I have no less reason to cheer and give Him all the glory. Without a doubt, I would not be alive today to type this post if I did not know God as My Lord and Savior. His love for me always cut through the suffering. When I was drifting into being emotionally unhinged, He was the steady core within the fight. I learned when I could count on no one, when I was totally misunderstood, when my loudest scream wouldn't stop the pain, when all the walls were falling in on me and the floor was dropping out - GOD WAS THERE!
I could see Him, feel Him, reach out and grab Him so that I would not be swept away by the storm. He has NEVER failed me. He has NEVER left me alone. He has NEVER closed me out. He has NEVER shunned me, been ashamed of me, belittled me, sidelined me, lied to me, tricked me or hurt me. Can you say that about anyone in your life? Since the day I began following Him as my Lord, King, All-mighty God, He has faithfully walked me through the most unspeakable valleys. He gently guided me and told me what to do.
So why? Why did He allow me to suffer? Why did He let me enter a painful suffering so that I would need to be healed? How could He love me and watch me be abused?
I don't know every answer, but I do know Who does. I also know other people hurt me - not God. A lot of time when someone has suffered violence and abuse, they don't turn to God. They blame Him, believe He doesn't love them, or can't believe there is a God in a world with so much wickedness. I understand those thoughts. So hurting people chose to live life their way, trying to escape the memories. Often they end up being one of those people that hurt others. I was damaged mostly by people who rejected God. People who said He wasn't real. If I had not made the choice to be open to follow God's ways, I would still be tortured in a state of trauma. I would be trapped in the cycle of abuse. I would be an abuser to myself and others.
I had a choice to make, I chose God! He accepted me, and adopted me, and gave me a new life - literally a new way to live. I didn't have to change in my own strength; and I didn't have dramatically do it all at once. My life wasn't a make-over. God gave me a totally new ME renovation - I am today closer to being the original person He created me to be, and I really like who I am! I have discovered a meaningful re-purpose for my life.
If I can help you in any way or even if you want to share you story, leave me a comment. I will enjoy reading what you have to say. Community is important, so is taking a step to share.
The glee! The joy! The tears! I love it all. And even though the beautiful new house filled with all that incredibly wonderful stuff is not mine, I still enjoy room by room seeing the end results of the show.
But what if you could have a new life?
 |
| Raised into The New Life |
Rarely in life will someone experience something like The Extreme Makeover happening personally to them. It is a show that will reach a few. Out of 300 million people, a handful will get picked. It is less than a one in a million chance.
What if I told you, the odds in life are much more in your favor. I am not talking about the TV show Extreme Makeover; I am talking about something much more personal, and so much more important. You don't have to wait to be the lucky one to get selected. You get to choose for yourself whether you want a new life. Every single person has a choice (and yes, that includes you no matter what). No one is excluded.
When I was in my twenties, I was so messed up. I was broken - more like shattered internally. I was emotionally unstable, but mentally and physically I was strong. I was a survivor!, and therefore I was determined not to make the mistakes others made to hurt me. I was NOT going to abuse my children!
Little did I know how hard it would be to keep that promise I made to myself. And I would have never kept it by myself. If I didn't come to know that Jesus is God, and He is real, not some imaginary figure, some man-made legend. God moved in my seeking heart to clearly show me that Jesus WAS God. Growing up I heard he was born a baby in the manger. I also knew about some pretty amazing things he did as an adult, and some really wise teachings He spoke. But what I didn't know is He didn't remain a man. He died as a man physically and was raised from the dead in the total fullness of being God Himself manifested on earth. Jesus the man, was also God.
I know that is a lot to understand. Frankly, I didn't understand all about Jesus when I decided with everything in my heart to follow Him and to allow Him to be Lord God of my life. I just knew I had to do it. When the Holy Spirit showed me that Jesus was God, when I heard those words within my soul, that instant, I chose Him - and never turned back. From that day forward I have NEVER been alone, NEVER! And day by day, inch by inch, year by year, God has taught me how to follow Him. He taught me who He is, and how differently He wanted me to live. Best of all, He gave me the ability to live a new life and to be a new person. He re-purposed me!
And as I grew, mostly by attending Bible teaching churches, I began a complete renovation of who I was. Every time I stumbled into a fear, a trauma trigger, a disassociated thought, He showed me what to do. I had to learn to listen to His voice, and to obey Him no matter what. When I chose Him as my Lord, I meant it. I wanted Him to take control of my life. And why not? I was an unholy mess. Anger, fear, obsession, doubt and torment bled through the moments of my day. A lot of times I was completely out of my control. I was tossed around like an unloved ragdoll, drug through garbage, left in sewers, and shoved off the jagged edges in life. I was more than once left to die ... rot for all anyone cared.
But I am here testifying to the truth, God lifted me up, cleansed me, clothed me, fed me, held me, loved me and led me one step at a time to find the purpose of my life.
Thirty years later from the time I chose Jesus I can proclaim, "I have peace in deep within the core of my being knowing the old season - the time of intense healing from the damage done to my soul by the abuse and trauma - has come to a close." I can never say I will never need intense healing again, but I can say,"For the present moving forward, my seven long years of weekly EMDR/Brainspotting therapy for a mental dissociative disorder (a year or so bi-weekly) is FINISHED!"
Halleluiah, Praise the Lord! I know if you don't know God that sounds real churchy, but honestly I don't mean it that way. I am just so very thankful He faithfully helped me to heal. Is it any wonder how marveled I am by His love for me!
 |
| I am being who God created me to be! |
People usually celebrate and praise God when they get a miraculous instant healing, but most people don't get healed that way. While God could heal everyone immediately, He frequently chooses to let us walk through our healing with His loving direction. God taught me so much, but one of the greatest lessons I have learned the past thirty years is that I needed God, more than I needed healing.
Even though my healing took many years, I have no less reason to cheer and give Him all the glory. Without a doubt, I would not be alive today to type this post if I did not know God as My Lord and Savior. His love for me always cut through the suffering. When I was drifting into being emotionally unhinged, He was the steady core within the fight. I learned when I could count on no one, when I was totally misunderstood, when my loudest scream wouldn't stop the pain, when all the walls were falling in on me and the floor was dropping out - GOD WAS THERE!
I could see Him, feel Him, reach out and grab Him so that I would not be swept away by the storm. He has NEVER failed me. He has NEVER left me alone. He has NEVER closed me out. He has NEVER shunned me, been ashamed of me, belittled me, sidelined me, lied to me, tricked me or hurt me. Can you say that about anyone in your life? Since the day I began following Him as my Lord, King, All-mighty God, He has faithfully walked me through the most unspeakable valleys. He gently guided me and told me what to do.
So why? Why did He allow me to suffer? Why did He let me enter a painful suffering so that I would need to be healed? How could He love me and watch me be abused?
I don't know every answer, but I do know Who does. I also know other people hurt me - not God. A lot of time when someone has suffered violence and abuse, they don't turn to God. They blame Him, believe He doesn't love them, or can't believe there is a God in a world with so much wickedness. I understand those thoughts. So hurting people chose to live life their way, trying to escape the memories. Often they end up being one of those people that hurt others. I was damaged mostly by people who rejected God. People who said He wasn't real. If I had not made the choice to be open to follow God's ways, I would still be tortured in a state of trauma. I would be trapped in the cycle of abuse. I would be an abuser to myself and others.
I had a choice to make, I chose God! He accepted me, and adopted me, and gave me a new life - literally a new way to live. I didn't have to change in my own strength; and I didn't have dramatically do it all at once. My life wasn't a make-over. God gave me a totally new ME renovation - I am today closer to being the original person He created me to be, and I really like who I am! I have discovered a meaningful re-purpose for my life.
If I can help you in any way or even if you want to share you story, leave me a comment. I will enjoy reading what you have to say. Community is important, so is taking a step to share.
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