When to Release a Client - Doing What is Best for Client

Who Can I Trust?

In every counselor's work comes a time when it is best for a particular client to release them. The key is to know when and how to best do this to benefit the client the most, and to be morally/ethically responsible.

Today there are many different types of "counselors":

• Psychologist - (a PhD or PhEd in Psychology)
• Licensed Clinical Social Workers (about 30 hour Masters in Clinical SW)
• Licensed Clinical Psychologist (about a 60 hour Masters in LCPsychology)
• Marriage, Family and Child Counselor (about 30 hours Masters)
• Psychiatrist - (a MD in psychiatry from a medical school, internship in hospitals, prescribes medication and very few do private counseling)
• Biblical Counselor - (Certified from Various Biblical Counseling Programs, not a college degree but more over the internet/DVD type of course work by pastors, teachers, some professional counselors) (Not licensed by State or Board Certified, usually under the authority of a local church)
• Pastor - (most have a seminary level similar to a PhD, some have a PhD, study was in ministry aspects and not specialized in counseling but most do some limited level of pastoral counseling)
• Prayer Minister/Counselor - (Many ministries certify people to be Prayer Ministers to help people with healing in all mental, physical, & spiritual needs, not a college degree, not licensed or certified by State Boards)

If I missed any group of counselor, let me know below in comments.

As you can see, many different type of counselors are available for help people struggling with mental and emotional problems. Depending on the counselor, some are directly paid with money, some are covered by insurance, and some are paid for by church/ministry.

People can find Christian Psychiatrist, Psychologist, Social Workers and other degreed professionals but most do not label themselves as such and only use Biblical counseling when their client request it. Each of these counselors can specialize in different disorders, mental conditions, and/or emotional problems. Usually a professional counselor lists what areas they specialize in and this gives you an idea where they have the most experience, in what topics they normally do their required continuing education and what kind of patients they feel most qualified to take.

I explain all of this in detail because this background is necessary to understand when a counselor should release a client for the best of that person's care. Also, I will handle non-licensed/certified counselors later in this post.


In counseling, situations will arise when a counselor must admit they do not have the experience/expertise to be the best person to help their client. For example, if I went if a patient went to an ophthalmologist and needed cataract surgery, the ophthalmologist would want a cataract surgeon, a specialist to take over the care of the patient. Unfortunately, this doesn't happen so naturally in counseling.

Christians especially struggle in this area. Many people don't understand how deep mental issues can get; they think people can pray, and receive solid Biblical counsel, and be "healed". Of course, God can heal anyone, but most people don't rely on prayer groups and Biblical support/counseling groups for diabetes, cancer or other medical issues. They seek prayer, and even anointing of oil, but most also go to a person who is specialized in the care of what ills them.

Mental Illness is Real even if you can't see it!

When a client has a " mental cancer" that is eating her up inside, she needs the best, most-qualified psychologist/therapist she can find. 

I beg counselors to please refer clients, and start to build a network of counselors for referrals. I very strongly believe God can put her in the loving hands of counselors that deals with her type of cases - but more importantly - that are interconnected with many counselors that deal with similar cases, and  meet about once a  month to discuss hard cases and to get assistance/guidance. With all my heart, I know God has help for her to be healed. It is impossible for Him not to have a healing plan for her.

What a Christian friend or non-licensed counselor can offer is a Biblical truth, spiritual prayer cover, and Biblical discipleship. For many hurting people this is exactly what they need, but for people who come from complicated abuse and trauma backgrounds they often need more specialized experienced counselors. Don't be surprised if the person in need declines to seek this type of help. Often people will speak loudly and long about the agony, problems and failures they experience, but when it come down to being spiritually disciplined you will quickly find out that they do not want to run to God for healing - they want to run to people. They seek out another person to bleed on. Why does this happen so often?

There are many reasons:

• she really just wants attention,
• she thinks she must control every detail of her life to not be hurt again,
• she feels she has to stuff it as best as she can so that she can function for others,
• she is afraid, even terrified, to take steps to heal,
• she doesn't want to confront reality,
• she doesn't want to cause problems in her family or with the abusers,
• she doesn't like herself and feels her suffering is some kind of justified punishment she deserves,
• she doesn't believe she can be healed,
• she doesn't think she deserve to be healed,
• she refuses to replace lies in her life with Biblical truths,
• she identifies strongly with "being needy" or "being a victim",
• she has been hurt so many times before, she doesn't trust herself or others,
• she has experienced continual rejection from "church people",
• she has tried so many counselors that don't have a clue how to help but just talk, and talk, and talk,
• she doesn't want to be healed or she may just not be ready.

If she understood that God was her Healer, of course, she would jump at the opportunity to learn more about Him, and to grow closer to Him. But the truth is so few people really know God as He describes Himself, they only know what they see or hear.

When I was seeking help personally in my life, I would have in a millisecond loved if someone would have offered to be my prayer partner and Bible teacher/discipler while I walked through the in-depth therapy. In my life, no one wanted to be that close to me. They didn't like the messy relationship, that I was not always stable or able. They didn't want to be involved with someone that was more needy than able to give mutual friendship. I lost many friends (most to never return)... one or two have and we have been able to talk about how they just didn't know what to do, or that they thought they would hurt me more, or didn't understand, or was not that spiritually mature to handle.

Are you willing to help another carry their cross?

Recently at a local grocery store, I literally nearly bumped into a associate Pastor at the church I left about many years ago because the church pastors pretty much dumped me out when they found out I was taking psychiatric medication (I came to the pastor's office for prayer). I didn't always respond calm or kind; I was bold and sometimes confrontational (I spoke my mind... most pastors don't like it when we have an opposite view or opinion and we let them know). We had not seen each other in years! So after we both took a double-take look, I apologized to him for how unstable I was and let him know how much better I was doing after the past years of counseling and told him I still medically needed medicine to keep me stable. He seemed genuinely happy for me, grateful, and his face turned a slight shade of pink, as he said, "I am a more experienced pastor than I was, and  I hopefully would handle the situation better now." Joel (my husband) called it a divine appointment for us both to have had a clear closing to that "bad relationship".

Truly, I think churches need to learn how to come alongside people with a Mental-care group, like a divorce care group. This is the type of vision I have with wanting to start up a Non-profit organization in Living Visible! Living Visible would be able to access a person's support needs and provide her with people in her local area that can walk alongside her recovery. This ministry is intended for people who will need long-term help!Oh, how I wish this kind of support would come from her local church but more than likely it will come from Christians that pool together from many churches burdened to meet the needs of survivors of extreme abuse! This is my heart desire because as it stand today no organization (not even the church) is willing/equipped to help these kind of hurting people!

As a counselor, it can be very painful to not be able to help someone when you desire with all your heart to do so. What I do know is that God will lead  and strength counselors that are uniquely His. If He keeps bringing a clients like this back into your life, I would ask Him what He desires you to do to become better equipped to take on cases like this if it is His heart desire for you. Being a therapist to people who have been horrifically and extremely abused - especially over many years and starting in early childhood - is very difficult work. But I know that God picks those He desires to enter this specially ministry! Counselors can be found for all varieties of needs. Don't be discouraged if you have to refer a client to another specialist! Trust that you are doing what is best for your client.