Finding Inner Peace (A Survivor chooses how to live)
I type knowing I have lost my voice in your life, knowing my choice to distance myself have consequences... And still, I hear your soul, in these words that you wrote:
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| Designed by a Maker, Elohim! |
"Time lapses, but unsure of what my immediate future holds, I remain paralyzed in the moment. However, will this moment end or will the stress of my current life continue to unravel my confidence, desire and ability to continue?
As I retreat from the track, I stop. Placing my nervous hand upon my forehead, I check to even judge the reality of this event, the existence of my own body here in this moment. I feel tired, moody and; generally unhappy. I ask myself "How could this be?", I have no reason to feel this way. I have no rationale for this moment of weakness nor the understanding of its meaning.
I am like a tree that is green with life on its leaves because the mechanisms of life itself never fail. Nature is perfectly, imperfect. However, I am cold within my own trunk, it is a feeling that I need to understand, quickly..." (excerpt from blog post of another)
And after reading these poetically, tradgic, beautiful words, I wish I could embrace "this" you, the realness that dares to be seen for a moment on a "dusty cinder track" of life... here, at a crossroad, in reality a real choice every soul will make. You are being, in touch with your inner self, with who you are in the core.
Faced with a decision,
- Does one step off into the raging rapid of uncertain truth?
- Does one risk all for knowing total abandonment of self in choosing to trust an invisible God?
- Can one have ultimate faith, being the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen?
- Can one risk to trust that what is visible is temporal, as grass or flowers that appear for a time but soon wither and fade away instead of what is invisible, eternal, everlasting, real?
- Will mindful reason ever peek beyond the present cover, the charade, the forever musical circling carousel of present living?
- Might one be living for the present, forcing one's self to make-believe "all is good" while avoiding to be living in the present knowledge of eternal peace, which can be obtained?
The response to these questions are profoundly critical to the inner life of one's self - the true life - the eternal soul, that is currently within the physical body, but ultimately fully visible for eternity.
If an invisible inner soul, is not addressed, is quieted, is controlled, is neatly boxed for one's sake of stability and survival, what becomes of the very real the core of truthful essence of life?
100 years from now, even a 1,000, what will matter is who you really are today? Are you choosing to live for what is real (lasting, eternal)? To do so, takes unspeakable courage, to place trust of oneself into the faithful, almighty hands of our Creator to mold, pound, twirl with the skill of the greatest potter... to refine, purify, and try under the burning blaze of experience... where few will allow themselves to go. Are you able? Are you willing?
So naked, so honest, so revealed.
So surrendered to willingly endure "come what may" from the hand of ones' Maker. So few even dare to ponder such an existence.
When at the bottom looking up, God is the only one reaching out a hand. He is the rescuer, the father, the ruler, the orchestrator of one's life, if a person but allows Him absolute authority, unhindered access, full surrender of every action, attitude, word, thought... true Lordship. Not my will, but yours. Not my way, but yours. Not my life, but my life is Yours....
IT IS HERE: The zenith of all decisions one choses if he will be "free at last, free at last, My God, thank God, I am free at last"!
or not....
Truly, this choice will always be yours!
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