Created to Communicate - Problems of Child Abuse

God created each of us to be relational to Him and others. When our most basic relationships in life start with abusive people - who are suppose to be infusing us with love and care - we poorly develop the essential link to life: the ability to cohesively and effectively communicate our sense of self with others. Of course, ultimately our ability to be connected with God greatly reduced our external need to unfold our inner thoughts and feelings with others.

Our needs -when met by God- are in the highest state of fulfillment - but let's be honest - we humans are in a very fallen state and our innate ability to be relational to God is very weak, at best, unless we have learned how to and then given ourselves over to the continual practice of knowing God and being known in His presence. This gift of being trained up to know God is very rare in an abusive home, moreover some abusive home who have a 'god' he is presented in the most wicked, twisted, manipulative, and unBiblical way--which is not GOD at all.

Abuse, neglect, and multiple types of trauma warp our sense of trust - we so yearn to trust because NEED to trust in order to be safely relational. 

If we have learned through the abusive "hard lessons" that people-in general-cause extreme pain both physically and emotionally, we try to reach out diminishing fewer times. Depending on how deep, intensive and ongoing the abused/neglect/trauma was endured, a child/adult will timidly, even fearfully, attempt to reach out to have the basic human need to connect met .... until the child/adult learns it is too dangerous - to life threateningly (to body or soul) - to be one's self in the presence of others.

It is upon closing-in that we either find a way to connect through the arts of communication - dance, writing, drawing, inventing, playing, singing, and designing - to what is inside, to what has been experienced and to what is known as truth to our being - to speak to others OR we withdraw into the recesses of our psyche that can cause us to drift toward mental/emotional/relational instability and psychosis.

Sadly--more precisely tragically--too many hurting people NEVER find a safe, nourishing place to be relational in the purest sense of truly being able to show who they really are. And for many complicated reason - to many to address in this short piece - they turn inward... disconnecting from others and from life. The more they isolate the harder it becomes for them to relate.

Prior to and during healing, victims and most certainly survivors vacillate between touches of artistic expression (depending upon talent and training) that can verge on genius and mental states of collapse.

Communication is the way out of this dark place full of extremes, and without exception, the ability to KNOW God and thereby communicate with HIM is the most stabilizing and therefore ultimate NEED for real healing.

It is through a one on one relationship with God - talking, listening and being together - that we eventually find our own very privately path to healing that can never be found in a "so-many-step" program. 

Everyone is looking for the answers;
so many very well-meaning people desperately want to find the solution.

BUT in the end, teaching people to run to God, directing people to GOD alone is the most essential "step" required by anyone helping a survivor.

The helper must be willing, also, to fully trust GOD enough, to step out of the way. The healer must give up their own sense of 'control,' and desire to be needed, to allow God to do what only He CAN do- to let Jehovah Rapha, the LORD Who HEALS actually heal the sick, resurrect the dead, restore the brokenhearted and to set the captives free!