Can I Be Healed? (From Abuse and Trauma)
Many people ask this question, "Can I be healed?" I asked it myself many times.
People say, "YES!!! Absolutely YES!" And that is all too easy of an answer.
So what is the truth? Can a person who has been abused be healed?
Here is one answer: On this side of heaven, God will bring us to healing where we will be stabilized, able to function, and able to serve if we submit to His healing process.
But there is a big BUT...that I believe EVERY person who has been abused must ask themselves: Do I want to be healed?
You think I am kidding? This is a very sober question regardless of whether you believe in God or not. The only people who will ever experience any level of healing will be people who WANT to be healed. You see the sad reality is many people who have been abused identify with being a VICTIM and they do not want to loose that status.
Most people I know who have been abused want to remain a victim. They want to be able to whine, complain and use their past as an excuse for why they act the way they currently do in life. You yell; well, you were abused. You beat people; well, you were abused. You lie, cheat, steal, demean others, bully, etc. If you are a victim you can always excuse your own sins to the fact that you are not responsible, because after all you were abused.
So, people who want to be healed also want to be fully responsible for their words, thoughts and actions. They don't want a crutch in life; they don't want to be permanently disabled; they want to be well.
Can You be healed? It depends on whether first you want to be healed and second, you are willing to do the hard work in order to be healed. Are you willing to endure the therapy? Are you willing to take the medication as long as you need it until the therapy takes effect and changes you from the inside out.
Note that I did not tell you what the therapy is because it can be different for everyone. Not one step by step program works for everyone. Since we are unique and our abuse was unique, it makes perfect sense that the healing you need will be unique (and the medication you take, if any.)
Here is an excerpt from recent phone call with a dear friend:
If you are unsure or answer, "no" I highly recommend you study and learn who God is. An excellent resource is a book written by Kay Arthur at Precept Ministries, Lord, I Want to Know You. This book helped me to learn who God was and then "Lord, Heal My Hurts" also by Kay Arthur helped me to begin to understand Him more fully as the Healer. But it was through a one on one personal relationship of spending time talking to God that I truly found my own healing journey. God led me step by step. And I knew when I was finished because He made that clear also.
I am now a few years out of therapy. I am not perfect because no human is. I still experience trauma from time to time but it does not wipe me out and make me dysfunctional as a human. I am no longer toxic to people. I can develop healthy relationships which is one of the greatest blessing to being healed as I can be. I know that I will continue to grow and improve like everyone else in life, but the majority of my abuse healing is beyond me and for this I can rejoice.
People say, "YES!!! Absolutely YES!" And that is all too easy of an answer.
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| For most healing seem to be in a fussy distant place that can never be reached. |
Can you be healed?
Really. It depends on you. Is that rough to hear? Is that mean? It doesn't mean that you created or are responsible for your condition. Far from that. You are a survivor. I cringe to say a victim, because I don't like to think of myself in that way. It can be so self-defeating if you label yourself as a victim. I never call myself a victim. A Survivor! A thriver! A Fighter! An advocate! Those labels I can embrace.So what is the truth? Can a person who has been abused be healed?
Here is one answer: On this side of heaven, God will bring us to healing where we will be stabilized, able to function, and able to serve if we submit to His healing process.
But there is a big BUT...that I believe EVERY person who has been abused must ask themselves: Do I want to be healed?
You think I am kidding? This is a very sober question regardless of whether you believe in God or not. The only people who will ever experience any level of healing will be people who WANT to be healed. You see the sad reality is many people who have been abused identify with being a VICTIM and they do not want to loose that status.
Most people I know who have been abused want to remain a victim. They want to be able to whine, complain and use their past as an excuse for why they act the way they currently do in life. You yell; well, you were abused. You beat people; well, you were abused. You lie, cheat, steal, demean others, bully, etc. If you are a victim you can always excuse your own sins to the fact that you are not responsible, because after all you were abused.
So, people who want to be healed also want to be fully responsible for their words, thoughts and actions. They don't want a crutch in life; they don't want to be permanently disabled; they want to be well.
Can You be healed? It depends on whether first you want to be healed and second, you are willing to do the hard work in order to be healed. Are you willing to endure the therapy? Are you willing to take the medication as long as you need it until the therapy takes effect and changes you from the inside out.
Note that I did not tell you what the therapy is because it can be different for everyone. Not one step by step program works for everyone. Since we are unique and our abuse was unique, it makes perfect sense that the healing you need will be unique (and the medication you take, if any.)
What do you want?
Healing, Wholeness, Victory! That is what I wanted. I was so sick and tired of being out of control and not being who I knew I was inside but kept fumbling over. For me, I had to Seek first God! He designed my healing that lasted about 15 years. Well, truth is I had been seeking healing for about 30 years but the therapy that ended up healing me was not even invented until about 10 years ago, Brainspotting.Here is an excerpt from recent phone call with a dear friend:
Are you thinking that you may not make it? Do you believe that God can heal you? Are you desperate enough to call out to Him, Jehovah Rapha, the Lord Who Heals? He is able, and willing.
He has the Truth of His Holy Word, which He calls the Balm of Gilead. His Word is medicine for your soul. You need to allow God to apply it to your wounds. Jesus came to heal those who are sick, those who need the Great Physician.
Do you need to be healed? If so, He is waiting right this minute for you to come to Him.Since I am a Christian I see healing to come from God, the Healer. Therefore, I believe we all need to answer these questions: Can God Heal Me? Is the God I know big enough, powerful enough, capable to heal me?
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| Many want, look for, but few will fully face what is needed to heal. |
If you are unsure or answer, "no" I highly recommend you study and learn who God is. An excellent resource is a book written by Kay Arthur at Precept Ministries, Lord, I Want to Know You. This book helped me to learn who God was and then "Lord, Heal My Hurts" also by Kay Arthur helped me to begin to understand Him more fully as the Healer. But it was through a one on one personal relationship of spending time talking to God that I truly found my own healing journey. God led me step by step. And I knew when I was finished because He made that clear also.
I am now a few years out of therapy. I am not perfect because no human is. I still experience trauma from time to time but it does not wipe me out and make me dysfunctional as a human. I am no longer toxic to people. I can develop healthy relationships which is one of the greatest blessing to being healed as I can be. I know that I will continue to grow and improve like everyone else in life, but the majority of my abuse healing is beyond me and for this I can rejoice.
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