Why Is There Abuse In The World?
Everybody always comes to a point in life that they ask, "WHY?" Every child deserves a loving home where they can be nurtured, but in reality this does not happen. Many people are abused, including many children.
Survivors of abuse, also, eventually come to that point. "Why did I get abused?" Often, even people who claim to not believe in God, ask, "Why did God let me get abused? Why did He not stop it?" Or they simply are angry with God for the fact that they did get abused.
Growing up in an very abusive childhood, I never once during the eighteen years of abuse asked why is this happening. Amazingly, I attended Catholic school during the week and mass on Sunday but NEVER questioned why God was letting me get abused. I think that is because for many years I did not know that every other child was not living in an abusive home, and after the point that I realized my home was very different (in seventh or eighth grade) I did not view God as personal and active in everyday life situations. I figured He was busy with world issues and other important God-sized tasks. Therefore, I reasoned that He really did not have anything to do with what was happening in my home.
I do not ever remember questioning why abuse and sin happen in the world. My experience had taught me that clearly some very evil people lived in the world--my father was one of them--and that these evil people took pleasure in seeing others hurt. I recognized, even as a young child, how warped and evil it was to see my father laugh while he was torturing one of his children. My only thought was how in the world could we stop HIM, or somehow get away.
I grew up in the 60's and 70's before there was any precious safe place child signs. Every adult who knew we were being abused were too afraid to intervene; they seriously were too afraid of what my father might do to them that they did not get involved. Even the social services in the government were too hesitant to intervene because we had no broken bones, or other permanent physical evidence of torture. It was not enough that my oldest sister had been raped for 10 years; who could prove that in court? Thank God social services and child abuse prevention groups are much more active today, but fear still frequently prevails in the hearts of those who know an abuser.
So, back to my title of this blog, "Why Is There Abuse In The World?" Another way to ask this same question is "Why did God allow abuse to happen?" People frequently ask this question and I eventually asked when I learned that God was personally interested in people, "Why did God allow me to be abused?"
Humans are born spiritually dead to God. It is easy to see this in young children who are selfish, as they go through the "me" and "mine" phase of thinking the world revolves around them. Human nature leans away from the Lord and toward what satisfies their pleasure. When sinned against, a person gets angry and wants to retaliate and the cycle of evil is born into his heart. All people who abuse, have been abused. They are angry, out of control and acting out on the pain they absorbed in their own life. A person is not born an abuser; they are taught through very personal and horrible life experiences. The cycle of sin and abuse repeats for generation until someone turns to God.
This is a very simplified explanation, but it does answer the question. Abuse is in the world because sin prevails. Sin is magnified until it is confessed before God. When a person reaches out to God for forgiveness and cleansing of sin, to stop hurting themselves and others, God provides the grace needed to break the cycle. Grace is unmerited favor that God can provide because Jesus died on the cross for all sin; therefore, all sin that is confessed can be forgiven. But a person must chose to follow God, to repent and turn away from sinning, for the abuse to stop.
Healing from abuse is not an easy process. It is against what we were personally taught. To not abuse takes great determination and deep love to break the cycle of abuse.
For me, God was my source of strength to become a non-abusive mother and wife. He forgave me when I faltered and helped me to continue on in grace to face another day. The sin of my childhood is still reaching in to pull others into this abusive cycle and I am watching other siblings fight the good fight to stop it. I can encourage others but I cannot live for them. How you will live is a personal choice! Every person is responsible to do all they can to stop abuse in the world, and it begins in your own heart and home.
You might enjoy reading an older post I wrote on understanding why the abuse cycle is not your fault or choosing to live positively.
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| We all dream of a happy home! |
Survivors of abuse, also, eventually come to that point. "Why did I get abused?" Often, even people who claim to not believe in God, ask, "Why did God let me get abused? Why did He not stop it?" Or they simply are angry with God for the fact that they did get abused.
Growing up in an very abusive childhood, I never once during the eighteen years of abuse asked why is this happening. Amazingly, I attended Catholic school during the week and mass on Sunday but NEVER questioned why God was letting me get abused. I think that is because for many years I did not know that every other child was not living in an abusive home, and after the point that I realized my home was very different (in seventh or eighth grade) I did not view God as personal and active in everyday life situations. I figured He was busy with world issues and other important God-sized tasks. Therefore, I reasoned that He really did not have anything to do with what was happening in my home.
I do not ever remember questioning why abuse and sin happen in the world. My experience had taught me that clearly some very evil people lived in the world--my father was one of them--and that these evil people took pleasure in seeing others hurt. I recognized, even as a young child, how warped and evil it was to see my father laugh while he was torturing one of his children. My only thought was how in the world could we stop HIM, or somehow get away.
 |
| There were no "safe place" signs when I grew up. |
I grew up in the 60's and 70's before there was any precious safe place child signs. Every adult who knew we were being abused were too afraid to intervene; they seriously were too afraid of what my father might do to them that they did not get involved. Even the social services in the government were too hesitant to intervene because we had no broken bones, or other permanent physical evidence of torture. It was not enough that my oldest sister had been raped for 10 years; who could prove that in court? Thank God social services and child abuse prevention groups are much more active today, but fear still frequently prevails in the hearts of those who know an abuser.
So, back to my title of this blog, "Why Is There Abuse In The World?" Another way to ask this same question is "Why did God allow abuse to happen?" People frequently ask this question and I eventually asked when I learned that God was personally interested in people, "Why did God allow me to be abused?"
Humans are born spiritually dead to God. It is easy to see this in young children who are selfish, as they go through the "me" and "mine" phase of thinking the world revolves around them. Human nature leans away from the Lord and toward what satisfies their pleasure. When sinned against, a person gets angry and wants to retaliate and the cycle of evil is born into his heart. All people who abuse, have been abused. They are angry, out of control and acting out on the pain they absorbed in their own life. A person is not born an abuser; they are taught through very personal and horrible life experiences. The cycle of sin and abuse repeats for generation until someone turns to God.
This is a very simplified explanation, but it does answer the question. Abuse is in the world because sin prevails. Sin is magnified until it is confessed before God. When a person reaches out to God for forgiveness and cleansing of sin, to stop hurting themselves and others, God provides the grace needed to break the cycle. Grace is unmerited favor that God can provide because Jesus died on the cross for all sin; therefore, all sin that is confessed can be forgiven. But a person must chose to follow God, to repent and turn away from sinning, for the abuse to stop.
Healing from abuse is not an easy process. It is against what we were personally taught. To not abuse takes great determination and deep love to break the cycle of abuse.
For me, God was my source of strength to become a non-abusive mother and wife. He forgave me when I faltered and helped me to continue on in grace to face another day. The sin of my childhood is still reaching in to pull others into this abusive cycle and I am watching other siblings fight the good fight to stop it. I can encourage others but I cannot live for them. How you will live is a personal choice! Every person is responsible to do all they can to stop abuse in the world, and it begins in your own heart and home.
You might enjoy reading an older post I wrote on understanding why the abuse cycle is not your fault or choosing to live positively.
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